Why I am not confident at Driving

To whom it may concern

I woke up this morning after not a very good night sleep as i was fretting about having to drive the car, You see i am not a confident driver and it is people like you that doesn’t help my condition.

I see myself as i good driver, i have also been told by passengers of mine that i drive well

  • I have never had an accident with another car, lampost, tree or kerb
  • I drive at a comfortable speed for me and my three young children in the car
  • I have never had a speeding ticket, although i do not drive under the speed limit i drive at a reasonable speed depending on my surroundings and the road that i am on
  • No i do not pull away at traffic lights and junctions very fast, I pull away when it is safe and i will not cut anyone up just so the driver behind me can get a car ahead/2 seconds further down the road
  • I drive safely as not to put my children in danger

Today i drove to my sisters house, 6 miles away, i was slightly nervous in driving but i was also feeling good about getting into the car as i have had a few previous trips out recently and really enjoyed the drive.

As i approached the traffic lights they turned red so i stopped pulled up my handbrake and put the gears in neutral, the car has a problem with cutting out and as i go to pull away on Amber, i stall the car, clearly my fault, i put my hand up to apologise to you behind me and i start up the car quickly and pulled away. You and one other car get through the lights leaving two behind, SO why do you feel the need to call me names, rant and rave behind you driving wheel, waving your arms everywhere and giving me hand gestures? Yes i stalled the car, Yes i apologised for my actions but is it really necessary to behave in such a manner! Did i really affect the time of your journey that much?

If i was walking down the street and you was behind me and i had to stop because i tripped up or maybe dropped my purse would you hurl abuse at me there and then in public in the eye of other adults and children? Would you swear at me and call me names? I doubt it!

I drove along the road for 5 minutes with you tailgating me, bullying me!

Well let me tell you one thing, I am only human and i do make mistakes but I am a good person and I would never do anything to anyone to cause harm or conflict.



I hope this post doesn’t annoy anyone just needed a little rant 


Pre Interview Nerves

Last night i couldn’t sleep, tossing and turning, I have something on my mind that i am worrying about and until it is over i will not be able to settle!

Tomorrow is Interview day!

I work in a school as a Teaching assistant for Nursery and Reception age children, doing 15 hours a week contracted but i also do an extra 2 hours a day supporting a child 1:1 in the Year 1 classroom. The job i am going for is in the same school but with children from years 1-6 and it will be for 27.5 hours a week which is 2.5 hours more than what i work at the moment.

I applied for the job just like all the other applicants filling in a form and handing it in, A few days after the deadline i receive an email inviting me along to an interview which will consist of an activity, where i will be given a selection of picture books to choose one from and a group of 8 KS1 children, i will be the observed taking children through the story and feeding back to them as part of assessment for learning. the observation will then be followed by an interview with a panel of staff.

The school i work for is split over two sites, about a 15 minute walk away from each other, I work in the original school building and my interview is being held over at the new site. This means that i am in the same boat as the over interviewees, as i have never met any of the children that are over there and i hardly know any of the staff over too!

I have researched the typical questions that may be asked at a Teaching Assistant interview and have come across a huge selection that i gave up on reading after a while as i just seem to be filling my head up with the possible that may never happen. This has caused me to have a disrupted sleep as i am constantly fretting over the what and ifs!

So after a week of thinking constantly about how i am going to cope in the interview and a couple of hours reading about other people’s experiences on-line i have come to the conclusion that there is nothing more i can do. I can’t think of an answer for every question or even an answer for every possible scenario that may occur as i will drive myself mad but what i can do is be myself, be honest and to relax and go with the flow!

I have bought a new pair of trousers for the interview, hoping to make a good impression as appearance is everything

I shall team it up with a cool sleeveless tunic in orange or black

I shall wear a pair of flat shoes as i am hoping to get as interactive as i can with the children.

So in my new clothes and my hoping for new found confidence i will be honest, approachable, clearly spoken, friendly and try not to be nervous! easier said than done!

I have my Calms and Rescue Remedy all stocked up in my handbag already for tomorrow 🙂


Nervous Mummy / First day of Filming for my Son

I couldn’t sleep, I felt sick, my stomach was turning and turning and it felt like a washing machine doing a spin cycle. I couldn’t relax and was tossing and turning trying my hardest to get comfortable. So many things was going through my mind, I was finding it hard to focus on resting and sleeping. I checked the clock 3:45, my alarm was set for 4:45 so i had another hour of this uncomfortableness to go. I tried to get back to sleep, I closed my eyes but i just couldn’ relax, I had that feeling in the pit of my tummy, I was worried! I was scared! But what of? I’m not pregnant nor am i Ill! No, it had nothing to do with me. It was my eldest sons first day of filming on set of the ‘Call the Midwife’ show. I was scared for him not having mummy by his side, i was worried that i wouldn’t get him to set on time for his call. Would he get on with everyone else and how was he going to cope being filmed? would he clam up and all of a sudden become too shy to be filmed? and is it going to be too much for him? All these things were running through my head after all he is still my baby at 9 years old he will never stop being my baby and all i want to do is watch over him and do my best for him. Thats one of the reasons I got jak into a performing children’s agency, he enjoys acting and being on stage but i wanted to give him a chance of having a good start in acting, you see he wants to be an actor when he grows up. Performing is brilliant for his confidence and he is never too shy to walk up onto stage in front of hundreds of people and i do believe that this will help if he ever gets a job in an office if he has to give a talk in a board room, hopefully he would be less nervous because of the experience he has had whilst he was younger through his acting.

Jak’s call time to be on set was for 7:50, it is only 23 miles away from our house, but them miles are the other side of London to where we live which means either is it a 40 minute drive in the car or a 1 and a half hour train journey travelling through the city of London. The car journey would take us on a very busy road jam-packed with commuters going to the big city for work so I was advised by the OH not to drive especially as I am not a very confident driver and not knowing the route so it was the train that was going to transport us to set. I had worked out the journey the night before but i was slightly worried that i had worked out the wrong route and what if the lines that i wanted to travel on wasn’t running or running late! I had planned the journey so it was the quickest route but also as i would have the baby in the buggy i wanted to make sure that there were the least steps at the stations for us to carry him up and down.

So after tossing and turning most of the night and having a restless sleep with all these thoughts running through my mind i decided to get up. I made myself a coffee, hoping it would settle my nerves plus i think i am going to need as much caffeine i can intake to get me through the day. There was going to be alot of waiting around for me and as there was licensed chaperones on set i wasn’t even sure that i was going to allow me to stay there so that was another thing that i was worried about, What would i do all day long?

We left the house at 5:15 caught the bus to the Train station to catch the tube into London, Once in London we had to catch another train which was an overhead fast one. Once we arrived at our destination station we had another short journey on a bus to get to location. We arrived at 6:30, not bad really! I booked Jak in and we was taken to a big trailer style bus that was there for the children to sit on, Jak quickly started making friends and left me sitting down on my own. When the runner called him to set along with the other children that was there for the filming too, he went off without saying goodbye to me. Why was i nervous and worried for him, he was getting on just fine. I took this time to have a little wander around with Oliver, the location was set amongst some gorgeous countryside surroundings and in a stunning building, so off i went with camera in hand to take some snap shots. Jak came back about an hour later, grinning from ear to ear and full of energy, he was loving it! He had really fitted in with everyone, children and adults and was having lots of fun and what an experience for him, he even got to meet some stars of the show which i think he may have pestered for their autographs. Jak was not nervous at all in fact he was the total opposite full of confidence and not even worried about all the rush that was going on around him.

He was released from set at 4:30 so it was a long day for him but i think he was running on adrenaline through the excitement. He has another 3 days of this, so I think this time next week he is going to be shattered, bless him! he still has school to attend when he is not on set and also has a performance at the local theatre this weekend for his drama school. I would love to share with you all what the show was about but unfortunately I can not but what I can say is it will be on at Christmas and I for one will be one very excited mummy sitting in front of the television set watching Call the Midwife desperately scanning the screen for my
Gorgeous little boys cheeky face. He may only be seen for a second but that second will be one huge proud moment of mine, one that I will never forget.

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