Yesterday we travelled to Gatwick airport as a family of 5 but returned home as a family of 4! Our eldest son, Jak, has travelled over to Amsterdam with the English National Opera to perform in Death In Venice in the Music Theatre over there.
Jak was very excited about the adventure he was about to embark on, he has been abroard only once before when he was 4 years old, so he was looking forward to flying on an aeroplane as much as visiting an new country and city. He has gone with the whole of the production team who he has become quite close with a few of since beginning to rehearse with them back in May, that chaperones that were with him in the west end productions and rehearsals are the same ones that he has travelled with.
This is an amazing experience for Jak and his acting career, which he is adamant he wants to pursue, he loves acting so this is a brilliant opportunity for him. Ever since he was a little boy at the age of two years old and he walked up onto the stage at a holiday site, he has never looked back, he has become hungry for the attention and the light that shines on him.
Yesterday was an emotional day, it was hard to wave him goodbye at the departure lounge, i know he will be back in 6 days and that he is good safe hands but i still had that urge to just grab him and hold him back to keep him with me.
Joseph found it very hard to handle, he wouldn’t let go of Jak’s suitcase and attached himself to it, shouting and crying for him not to leave him, It was so hard to watch. As much as the boys argue and fight they love being with each other and are always cuddling one another. By the time Jak was ready to walk through to the departure lounge Joseph was sobbing away and was trying to grab him over the barriers.
One last wave and this was the last i saw of my smiling excited sons face
As it was also Joseph’s birthday, we took him as a treat to Partyman World at Lakeside, it took his mind off of not having his brother around for a while but he was soon sitting down in the corner of the play area on his own, Daddy and I tried to replace the space that Jak has left and ran around with him, throwing balls at each other, sliding down curly slides, crawling through tunnels and pretended to drive space ships through the air but it didn’t work, he was soon missing his bog brother again and we was tired out.
We bought Joseph his favourite food, chinese noodles, but he wouldn’t eat them, saying that his belly aches! He went to bed upset and empty, he awoke at midnight asking for me to sleep with him, i laid in his bed and cuddled him for hours. He awoke this morning complaining of a belly ache still, i asked him where it hurt and what the pain felt like, he replied
“My tummy and heart hurts! I feel sick but i’m not!”
I think what my little boy is feeling is emptiness from missing his big brother. He has gone off of his food and he is not sparkly at all today.
Since coming home from school he has just sat on the sofa (unlike him) and watched TV.
Only 5 more days to go!