1…2…3…!

There are many of parents out there that would understand what I mean by 1…2…3…! No I’m not learning to read! No I’m not playing hide and seek with you! It’s the adult warning count for getting a child to do the right thing.

I’ve never really had to use the warning with my eldest two children but it’s used daily with my youngest, especially in the morning time. I just can’t get him to move. And he knows how to push the boundaries.

As I am a working Mum, I get the boys up an hour before we have to leave the house. This is enough time to have breakfast, have a wash and get dressed. My youngest is not a morning child, never has been. We have to leave the house at 7:50 in order to get to breakfast club before it closes, So I wake them up at 6:55. I know that this is early and it can be a struggle for anyone to be up that early. The youngest one I have to use extra encouragement, to get him out of bed. This normally consists of me carrying him downstairs on my back or me teasing him with the morning coffee breath (which can’t be nice for anyone to smell, lol). Once downstairs, I let him choose his breakfast, I then go and get his school clothes and when he is ready I get him dressed, A quick as possible as this helps with the struggles. Although, it isn’t normally the breakfast and getting dressed that is the problem . It’s the getting the shoes and coat on that he will just sit down and refuse point blankly in doing so. It’s at this point that I use the 1..2..3 usually along with something like ” I’m going to count to the number 3 and if you haven’t begun to make a move by the time I get to 3 then I will have to come and do it for you and Mummy will be sad” By the time I get to 2 he is beginning to make a change. He knows what the right choice is and he knows that he must do this in order to get a reward. I often tell him that if he makes the right choice then he can choose an activity to do after school.

I always praise his good times, if he is doing something well that he doesn’t normally do I like to tell him how proud I am of him and that I can see that he is growing into a big boy.

Too much negativity isn’t good! I also don’t like to tell him that he is being naughty.

So along with the 1..2..3 warning count I have printed off a reward system for him.

DSC_3364_opt

If he gets himself ready in the morning and doesn’t put up a struggle with me when it comes to getting his shoes and coat on then he will receive a sticker that he can wear and he can move his pirate along to the next number. When he reaches to the number 10 then he will get an extra reward, something that is his choice, something that he will want to work towards. This could be baking cupcakes, playing with play dough or a trip to the park.

DSC_3363_optWe have trialed the reward chart this weekend and it has worked so far! We haven’t had any tantrums, no throwing himself onto the floor, no hitting out at us and no screaming! He keeps talking about the chart and when he does something that is good he asks if he can move his pirate along the path. Although, I have noticed that he has miraculously jumped from 2 to 5, I think a certain little boy is moving himself along without being told to. Cheeky.

I found the chart by doing an online search for a downloadable reward chart and printed it off. This particular one is from supernanny. It always helps to make sure that the chart is of an interest to your child. Once printed, I laminated it and stuck it to the door in the kitchen. He also has a smaller version up in his bedroom, hoping that he will see it when he awakes and remind him of his reward.

Do you use behavioural management at home? What works for you?

Thank you for reading 🙂

 

 

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How Rude!

***Warning Contains a Rant***

Manners don’t cost anything, a please and a thank you can almost certainly make someone’s day.
Just to hold a door open for the next person instead of closing it in their face or smiling at someone as they pass instead of tutting at them can really make them feel happy.

On a recent trip into London, the boys and I experienced a lot of rudeness from other people, I’m not sure if its ignorance or because some people just don’t give a damn about others feelings.

I teach my children to say please and thank you, to hold doors open for others, not to push other people out of their way, to say thank you to drivers when they stop to let us cross a road, to be respectful to others and to have general good manners. I know sometimes they forget and I do try to remind them but they are only young and are still learning.

It was the first time this week that my eldest, who is 11 years old and still in junior school, noticed how rude some people really are!

  • He witnessed grown adults pushing his younger brother out of the way on a very busy street just so that they could enter a shop
  • He helped me carry the buggy down the stairs (with the toddler sitting in it) at a train station and washed shoved to one side whilst he was walking down backwards holding up the buggy by adult men as they were too much in a rush to catch the train to offer some help (apart from the elderly gentleman who did help at another part of our journey)
  • He was shouted at by a man, telling him to watch where he was going because he knocked into him on the street because the man stopped abruptly in the middle of the pavement
  • Whilst walking on the pavements we had to quickly steer ourselves around groups of people on a number of occasions as they decide to just stop whilst everyone is behind them, so that they can read a text or look at a map! (We had to stop to look at a map, but we positioned ourselves against a shop window on the side of the pavement so we was in no ones way)
  • He asked me why people were taking up room in the lifts in Hamleys toy store, when they could clearly use the escalators as they didn’t have small children, buggies or wheelchairs in fact they had no children at all! We waited for 10 minutes along with other families for a lift with some space for us, they were too busy with adults so I carried the buggy down the stairs.
  • We was looking in some of the display windows in the history museum when two grown ups shoved the boys to one side and split us apart as a group so they could look at it too and when Jak grabbed his brother to bring him back to me, he was tutted at by them because he crossed their view.

We spent two days in London and yes my children are quite loud and boystrous, they shout, argue, climb and run everywhere, I am always worried about how they come across to others as I don’t want people to think that they are unruly and undisciplined, but you will almost always receive a thank you and a smile from them. My eldest will open a door for you, he will help you with your heavy bags, he would let you go first onto a bus, he will always move out of the way for others and he will always offer his help if needed.

I was told over the two days by a number of people how polite my boys were and how lucky I am to have such a young gentleman, Jak would do anything for anyone if he knew it would make them happy.

So many times we received a tut and a disapproving nod of the head on the tube because I was travelling with a buggy and three young children and we was taking up room, I’m not sure how they think that we should travel! Maybe us families with young ones should only be allowed to walk about London and not take up room on the tube, I was told by one lady how brave I was to be taking my boys on the train in London, I answered I’m not brave I’m just a Mum who wants to show my children their capital city and spend time with them away from our home.

***Rant Over***

 

 

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