Am i a Failure!

Joseph has been getting spellings from school as homework for the past two weeks now, the words are given out on a monday and the children have until friday to learn the words. On the A4 piece of paper there will be 4 or more words and a grid with four columns, one for each day of the week excluding friday as that is the day they are tested on and they hand in their homework.

They are to look at the words, say it aloud, cover the word with their hand, write the word down and then check to see if they are correct. (look, say, cover, write and check!)

The first week Joseph tried hard with his spellings but as his handwriting is not very good and he struggles with writing down the right words he didn’t come out of school with a Super Speller certificate. He was ok about it and told me he got confused with ‘come and some’, I decided that when he would come out of school with his spelling this week i would try harder with him and spend a bit more time with his writing. We spent 10 minutes a day going through his spellings, saying them out loud, sounding them out and even his hand writing has improved. We wrote them out together on the white board and made up rhymes for each word, he was doing really well with them. He got them all correct on Wednesday and on thursday so i really thought he would do well in school on friday.

On friday when i picked him up he told me he tried really hard but didn’t get a certificate, now i now i sound like a pushy mum and it really isn’t like me to do what i did next but as he tried so hard all week i wanted to know what words he got wrong, I asked his teacher and she told me he was really close and it was only the odd letter in a word that he got wrong. I know Joseph tried hard with his spellings and writing so why do i feel like a failure to him!

Am i failing as a mum because i can’t teach him how to write well and spell, I’m not sure what else i can do to help him.

We read books together, he reads to me really well and does well with his sounding and blending and when he gets stuck on a word he tries his best to work it out. I have bought him handwriting books, we do drawings together, i have bought phonics flash cards (which he knows all of them), plain flashcards that i write words on, he has fridge phonics and a leapfrog scribble and write which helps him with his writing skills by helping him trace letters. I spend time every day with him teaching him to write but also making it fun so what am i doing wrong?

People say it will come to him, he tries so hard with his reading but is really struggling with the formation of certain letters. He knows how to read the words but putting the pencil to paper is not easy for him. 

Am i failing him? Am i teaching him the wrong way? Why do i feel like it is my fault that he can not grasp it?

He is a very active boy and doesn’t like to sit still, he likes people to do things for him and is always saying he can’t do things but the thing is i know he can. I don’t want him to be branded as the mischievous boy in the class room and start to misbehave because he knows he is behind every one else. He is a bright boy and knows alot about the world around him, we visit lots of museums andhe asks lots of questions, he wants to learn.

Can anyone help with any suggestions on how to help him with his spellings and handwriting?

Thank you for reading my post


10 thoughts on “Am i a Failure!

  1. You are in no way a failure! You are doing everything you can! I know when I was young I hated the whole test bit, the nerves and pressure to do well often got me down! That’s the thing with certificates, they are fab but it can knock them when they try so hard but still fail. You are already doing so much. Have fun with it and just persist, it will come in time xxx

  2. relax my love neither of you are failures and if you continue to feel that way Joseph may well pick up on your anxiety. Do you think he may be dyslexic at all. maybe a word with his teacher about where in the class his abilities are, is he on par with most of the other children? you may well find that he is toddling along at the same rate as most of the others in class. His teacher might also have some suggestions on how to help him, but don’t be stressing out over it or pushing Joseph too hard, Xxx

  3. You are certainly not a failure. It takes some children longer than others to pick things up. Plus the way they learn, well up here anyway is very different from how I learnt. It’s phonetics here and it gets a little confusing from my perspective. Don’t be too hard on both of you. It’ll come x

  4. Its like children learning to walk and talk they all do things at different times. My nephew is 9yo and he is excellent at science and making things but is a bit behind with his reading and writing, his writing is so bad it looks like a spider crawled over the page! Children cant excel at all subjects, I’m sure he will get there with some extra help from you but sounds like your doing a good job to help him already. xx

  5. No way you are doing great some children take longer than others. I really punished myself over Alice but she is dyslexic and I was never told. Your bit pushy your caring and all kids learn in their own time. They should do the trying really hard award;) I was great at test but was a kid who panicked and got brain block. Sometimes its harder for children in test than it is practice.xx

  6. It sounds like you are doing all you can and it is good that it bothers him about not getting the certificate as it seems to be driving him on to improve. It’s when it becomes demotivating when there’s a problem. How would he feel about writing birthday cards, or making then writing one? Or writing up a menu for tea? He may enjoy that. If he enjoys reading, spelling will come to him in time.

  7. It sounds like you are trying lots of different things to help him. Some children just take a little longer but it will soon come to him, just don’t let him give up.

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