It’s been just over a year since I was admitted into hospital to have a tumour removed. I spent a lengthy 8 weeks in hospital, not knowing when I would be home or if I would ever get better. The weight dropped off of me -For many reasons; I was nil by mouth, I was sick every day, I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t drink and I was depressed. I was sick of seeing the same four walls around me, I spent hours and days crying and feeling sorry for myself. I got into such a rut that I felt that there was no need for me to be here anymore. The doctors had no answers as to why I was so ill, the surgery went well but the after effect was not so good. I was being fed by TPN, a tube that entered into the main artery giving me the nutrition that the body was missing. My weight plummeted to 4 and a half stone.
My Christmas day was spent waking up on a ward to having my blood taken and my blood pressure checked. There was no waking up to the sound of my children running around all excited because they had seen that Santa had been in the night and left them some presents to open. I had no morning hugs or kisses. Instead I heard the noise from the squeaky wheels of the breakfast trolley being wheeled through the wards. The Nurses drawing the curtains and wishing everyone a Merry Christmas. How could it possibly be merry if I didn’t have my loved ones around me?
I had been promised by my surgeon that I could have day release from the hospital to go home and see my children, but it didn’t go to plan. There were different doctors on call and they refused to let me go home because I was too weak.
My Family visited later in the day and I tried hard to hide my disappointment from them. I was crying inside. The pain inside was far worse than any I had ever felt. Tears stung my eyes as I watched my boys walk out of the ward.
This year is different.
I have come so far in the past year. I have gained all of the weight back and the muscles in my legs are slowly returning. I have been back at work full time since April and I treasure every second I have with my family.
This year It’s not about the presents and what we buy each other. It’s about us all being together, having fun and enjoying each others company. Material things are nothing compared to time and Love.
Yes, we will still have presents. How could we not? But opening them with us all together In our new home will be extra special.
I have asked my boys what they want for Christmas and all I get in return Is ‘You Mum’
So this year that is what they will get!
Mummy at home with them.
I am looking forward to waking up to three very excited children and hearing their voices as they run around the house searching for signs that Santa has been. I’m looking forward to drawing the curtains myself and looking out of the window. I’m looking forward to sitting down amongst the mayhem and thanking my lucky stars that I have been given more time to spend with my family.