Being a Mum to 3 boys

Being a working mum to 3 boys is hard going, there just isn’t enough time in the day to fit everything in. Now the days are getting lighter we might be able to fit more in, like visits to the park or after school shopping.

Their are 5 common questions that people in the public like to ask me when they see me on my own with my children

Things I hear being a mum to 3 boys

  • “3 boys! Are they all yours?”

Well yes, they are! I don’t normally go supermarket shopping just for the fun of it with extra children.

  • “I bet they keep you busy!”

Wouldn’t you be busy with three boys under the age of 13! Yes they keep me on my toes and yes they are very active and like to be outdoors but I have cuddles on tap and they adore their Mummy

  • “Are you going to try for a girl? Followed by Did you want a girl?”

Really!! How could I possibly try for a girl, I could keep getting pregnant just in case they baby ends up being a girl. We don’t get to choose what sex our baby will be. I can just imagine the conversation before sex “Darling could you please impregnate me with a baby girl/boy” “Sure Honey, Just lay down and It in a few minutes you will have a baby girl in side of you” Oh dear! Or their being a gender machine in the hospital that you can use on your first appointment, where you can choose the sex.

Did I ever want a girl. I can’t say that I have ever yearned to hold a baby girl, I was just happy that my babies were healthy and thriving when they were born. I guess, I sometimes look at little girl outfits and  go a bit broody, I mean who wouldn’t! Pretty girls dresses are adorable

  • “Anymore?”

I have 3 children already and I’m sure I look like I’ve not had a decent nights sleep in years. Having three boys has aged me massively, but I wouldn’t change it. I’m happy with 3 and NO I really don’t want to have anymore

  • “You look tired! Wait until they get older!”

Why would I have less sleep when they are older compared to now. I can’t see me worrying anymore over them as I do now to what i would do if they were 5 years older. If one falls ill then I am up all night long with them and sods law the others fall ill within days after. I take them to clubs, I watch them in competitions, I support them in school and I take them to their auditions and shoots. In fact I’m looking forward to them growing up and them being able to make me a cup of coffee and a slice of toast. Rest assured I will have plenty more restless nights but they are worth it for the cuddles I receive in return. Each age line on my face can tell an exciting story of what it is like to be a parent to 3 boys

I am pretty sure that I could add to the list but these are questions i come across weekly when I’m out and about with my three boys

Do you have any you could add?

 

image

 

Share

A sick day or 100% attendance

Yesterday I received that phone call in work that all parents dread. The moment you hear the words “This is ******** school calling, we have ******** in the school office feeling unwell”!

As a working parent, that doesn’t have family at hand to help out when my children are sick, it means that I have to call in work for the day off to look after my child. And as an employer of a school, I always feel guilty having to have time off and not being there for the children in school. But my main priority is my own children at home. It doesn’t happen that often, maybe once or twice a year and I don’t normally have time off due to sickness. But i still feel like I should be there for my work colleagues and children.

Also, the first thing that comes to mind when your child is sick is that of attendance. Yes, it is drummed into our heads so much by schools that our children need to attend in order to receive those precious certificates that they give out for 100% attendance. I can understand on both parties, the school why it is important for children to attend school every day of the school year and why as a parent we keep them at home. I think that maybe if we, as parents could show a doctor’s note to the school then the child should still get a certificate. It really isn’t a child’s fault that they are ill. In fact they have probably caught a bug from one of those children in school that get 100% attendance.

After receiving the call I rushed over to my son’s school to pick him up. I was told over the phone that he was very sleepy and just not himself. As he walked out of the office, I looked at his face and saw that he did look at little peaky. I carried him home and he fell asleep in my arms. A clear sign of him not being very well. My son is normally a very loud, active child who doesn’t really sit still long enough to get comfortable. When we got home I placed him on the sofa and gave him some medicine, within minutes he was asleep.

I thought that maybe once he had a little rest and when he woke up he would be ok. But I was wrong. He woke with a temperature of 39c and crying in pain. It’s horrible when our little ones are ill. I just want to take his pain for him and hold him tight. His skin was burning up and his heart was beating fast, a clear sign of a fever. I stripped him down to his underwear and put a cold damp cloth onto his forehead. His temperature dropped a little and he was saying he was hungry. After eating only a few grapes, he was sick. I was so glad that i had thought that maybe he could vomit as i has got the bowl out ready. You know as a parent, as soon as our children say they are not well, you grab the bucket just incase.

We had quite an unsettled night as we both slept downstairs on the sofa, we’re lucky our sofa is as big as a single bed and just as comfy. Little one kept crying in the night and was really hot to touch. It was sitting next to a radiator. I kept giving him sips of water and calpol and lots of hugs and reassurance that Mummy was there with him.

He woke feeling hungry. Careful not to fill up his little empty belly too quickly, I gave him half a weetabix. He would normally eat 2. Clever Mummy. As he brought that straight up too.

Since this morning we have had no sickness, but he is drifting in and out sleep and his temperature seems to have dropped with the intake of the medicine.

It’s a sofa day for us 2, watching Netflix and snuggling under his duvet. We still have the sick bucket close by, just in case!

There is no possible way that he would have managed a day at school today. He can hardly move without falling over. He has no energy and just keeps sleeping. And if I had sent him in he would have just been sent home straight away with the school thinking that I am not a very caring Mummy. Also with the school rules of ‘Once your child is sick they need 24 hours away from school after the last vomiting session’ it means that he can not be in any way.

So now he faces the assembly where he has to watch other children being given certificates because they haven’t been sick and vomited and applaud them as he receives nothing.

Unfair. Silly. Discriminating.

Is it an achievement for not falling sick?

I do think that it is important to reward children who are determined in school, contribute to class activities and are making attainments in subjects. Surely there is another way?

What do you think?

Share

What will the future hold….

As I sit down at the dining table, I hear my boys from upstairs, fighting, arguing, playing, shouting and just being plain noisy little terrors. And as I am about to open my mouth and shout up the stairs for them to calm down a bit and be a little quieter. I think how quickly life goes by. I don’t want to be known by my boys as the Mummy who shouted at us a lot. I want them to be boys. In fact. I don’t want them to grow up at all.

I know most of us parents look at our little babies and wish for them to stay tiny forever. My boys are growing up too fast and I just want life to slow down So I can take in every second of their lives. My boys are my babies, no matter their age.

My eldest no longer cuddles me and the ‘I Love you Mum’ is becoming less and less.

My boys drive me mad. I am forever pulling them apart and shouting at them. My days don’t go by without me having to tell them off, there are points in my day that I sit and cry. There are days when I think I just can’t go on anymore. There are days that I just want to walk away from the fighting and tantrums. But these are normal. No ones life as a parent runs smoothly.

And as hard as It is raising three hyper boys who are forever on the go. I look at them and I just don’t want to them to grow up.

I don’t want to let go of them. I don’t want them to leave me.

Oh, I wish for them to have a happy, successful life. Get married. Have children. Be in a their dream job. I just don’t want them to forget, little old me. The Mum who took them to clubs when they were younger. The Mum who played on the floor with them for hours, in their imaginary game. The Mum who sat up all night long watching them breath when they were ill. The Mum who watched them compete and perform with tears of pride in her eyes. The Mum who taught them right from wrong, taught them how to love and who was always there for them.

It’s the well-known quote “A son is a son till he takes a wife, a daughter’s a daughter fort he rest of her life” that scares me. I myself am closer to my Mum than my Dad, although I love my Dad. It’s my Mum whom I call every day and talk to when upset.

What will the future hold?

I just pray to my boys that I will not be one of those Mother in law from hell. I will become their partners friend as much as I am theirs.

I live my days for my boys and like many other parents my weekends are planned around them. My life changed when they came, for the best. I became who I am now. I am who I am because of my boys. I’m scared of what I will become without them around.

What will the future hold? No one knows! Please Boys, Don’t forget Mummy.

 

 

Share

Dear So and So…..

Dear so and so are letters to strangers, things you want to say to someone but never got round to.

Dear lady on the underground train,

Thank you so much for offering my children and I your seat, you must have seen how stressed and exhausted I looked. Travelling on the tube with young children is taxing enough, but travelling with 3 children plus luggage isn’t easy. I saw the compassion in your eyes. I really did appreciate it, but I declined and I hope that you understand why! We was only staying on the train for two stops and I would have had arguments from the two youngest of who would have sat in the seat. Plus we had two small suitcases to move and it was busy. The offer of your seat was kind and enough to make me smile for a moment, I looked at  my boys and saw the delight in their eyes. They was excited in travelling on the train. As we stood up on the moving train, for the next two stops, we played eye spy and had fun. I forgot about being tired, your offer gave me a boost of energy.

Thank you

A very grateful mum

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Dear Parkdean Holiday Park,

We recently stayed at one of your parks down on the south coast, Hayling Island. Such a lovely place. We was very happy with our caravan, it was clean and very comfy. You don’t know how much relief it is to arrive at 8:00 pm in the evening and to find that the beds are all made up ready for the children to rest their weary heads. As soon as we pulled up infront of the reception in the taxi, we was greeted by your security staff who were very polite and friendly. The children and I were helped with our luggage and directed into the main building where we was to pick up the keys to the caravan. The security man behind the reception desk was very helpful and chatted away to the boys, who were running around with excitement at seeing the arcade and rides. We never had a problem with any of your staff over the two days that we stayed with you, we found them to be polite and accommodating. The caravan was lovely and very comfortable. I would like to say Thank you for a wonderful restful weekend, the boys absolutely loved staying there an I am sure we will be back again soon. We even had tears on the way home, because they didn’t want to leave.

Thank you again

A very happy holidayer

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Dear Man on the Funland Ride,

It’s not easy having children who are small for their age, especially when it comes to riding on the funfair/theme park rides. The boys had spent most of their tokens up on the rides and was having a ball going on all the rides. There was one particular ride that the two youngest wanted to go on, a roller coaster. It was 3 tokens per person but we only had 6 left, that would have been ok if Oliver hadn’t been just under 0.9 metres he could have gone on with his older brother, but he was under the measurement line. As I was just about to explain to him, you called us over and said I could go on with him without paying. You must have seen his animated face and how excited he was. You made his day. He screamed with delight when the roller coaster went fast round the bend.

Thank you for making a little boy very happy

A happy customer.

 

I am linking this post up with Mummy from the heart Dear so and So Linky

 


Dear So and So at Mummy from the Heart
 

If you could say something to a stranger, what would it be?

 

Share

Dear 3 year old

I love you dearly, and not a second goes by where I don’t think how lucky I am to be your Mummy.

BUT…………..

You really know how to push my patience to the end of the line, to the point where I could literally pull my own hair out and scream at the top of my lungs. Every time you throw a tantrum/hissy fit in public you know Mummy can’t do much about it. There is no step to sit you on for 3 minutes silence nor can I take away your tablet as punishment as we don’t have it with us.

You know that if you hang on my arm as we are walking, that I will just have to pull you along! You will bounce away on your little feet and try your hardest to wriggle your tiny little fingers out of my grip as I try to hold your hand as we walk. But I will not give in, no matter how many times you fall on the floor on purpose, or if you tell me that my grip is hurting you.  You see, my dearest little boy, you are only 3 and If I let you walk along on your own it could be dangerous. Yet, you don’t understand danger just yet as you are so young. Your answer to everything at the moment is Why?

You know how to wind Mummy up by rolling around on the train floor, even though I have asked you nicely to sit still on the seat. As you roll over other people’s feet, I see your cheeky little face looking at me with that twinkle in your eye. I apologise to the passengers. But they just look at me rolling their eyes. I know what they’re thinking, obviously I can not control my child. And I can’t! I’ve tried to hug you to stop, I’ve tried to take your mind away from misbehaving on purpose by playing games with you, but you are bored and tired and at 3 years old you find it hard to control your feelings. I find the best thing to do is to ignore you. This seems to work as you get up and come and sit next to me. Another thing you do on the train is to stand up on the seat and shout. I’ve noticed that you don’t do this when it’s just you and I on our own, so I know it’s just to get my attention away from your siblings.

Why do you have to hold in your urine until the point that you wet yourself? I have asked you a number of times if you want to go to the toilet but you just say ‘No’. I know what the sign is now, you see I can see you knocking your knees together. I know why you can’t sit still. It drives me mad. I feel like I am stuck on a roundabout, going round and round. I’m sick of washing four lots of clothes and bedding every day. You know what you are doing, as you wouldn’t laugh at me when you tell me that you have had an accident.

Why do you have to hit out at me when I tell you off for doing something wrong, these melt downs can last up to 10 minutes and it’s hard work. It upsets me and you make me cry. Your only 3 but your kick can really hurt. It’s not just me that you hit, it’s your brothers too. They let you do it but I can see in their eyes that they have had enough. I know your tired. Why don’t you just tell me that you want to sleep, I will hold you in my arms and cradle you until your eyes close. I will hold you there until you’ve had a rest. But please, stop with the hitting and kicking. Close your eyes and give in.

Where does all your energy come from? You’re so little but you have an abundance of drive. I believe you could run the marathon and still have tons of energy left.

You make me feel like a failed mother. I struggle to control you and your temper. I guess I have failed.

I hug you every night to sleep. I kiss you every morning as you wake. I wipe away your tears when you are upset. I teach you new things every day. I try my best to be a good Mum.

You are not my first-born, you are my third! So I have been here before but just not like this. This type of behaviour is new to me.

NO matter how far you push me, I vow to be the Mummy that you need. I will always be here for you, but please meet me half way.

Love your tired out Mummy

Share

Suddenly I felt love

As I lay here with my hand laid upon my sons chest, feeling his heart beat against my palm. My face snuggled into his arm, feeling the warmth of his skin against my cheek. A small salty tear drops from the corner of my eye onto my cheek. I do not cry for sadness but I cry for happiness and Love.

Looking back to when I was 24, I didn’t want children. Not that I didn’t like being around the little ones, I had plenty of nephew and nieces to give my love to but I was happy being on my own. I never dreamed of having one child let alone three. Now I have three lovely little boys I wouldn’t change it for the world. I never planned to be a Mum and when I found out that I was pregnant with my first, I was scared that I would never be able to look after and Love him like a Mother should do. I never understood what love was until I had my son.

I remember the first time I held him and that immense feeling I got as I looked down at his little screwed up face, as his little fingers searched for my hand and he grabbed tightly onto my finger. That moment will be etched into my heart forever. I suddenly felt like my heart was going to explode, It was like a magnet was drawing me into him. I couldn’t stop looking at him and knew from that moment that my life had changed and it would never be the same again. I felt love, I felt belonged, I was excited for what was to come, I suddenly felt love.

That feeling happened three times for me, each time I held my newborn in my arms.

When I fell pregnant with my second child, I was a bit concerned with how I could possibly love him as much as I loved my first. I know It may sound a little horrid but I already gave all my love to one child how could my heart Love another the same. My mum told me that my heart was like an elastic band and it would accommodate as many as I wanted it to. My love will stretch but will stay the same for each child. She was right (as always) My heart and Love grew for three children and not one is loved more or less than the other. They are all unique in their own little ways, of course they have good and bad in them, but children do don;t they! I love my boys through the good and bad.

I can tell my children off and I can be really angry with them, but with one look into their eyes and I melt. I am back to day one where I was holding them for the first time in my arms, looking at them as they were a newborn. Helpless and innocent, children need to be guided to do the right thing. That’s what us as parents are here for.

I may not be in a loving relationship, I may not have the support from my partner but each day I live for my children. The love that I receive from them is what gets me through my day.

No matter what age my boys are, they will always be my babies.

 

instant love

Share

Two going on Teen

Time goes by too fast when you have children, one moment they are tiny little helpless babies who need your help every second of the day, then comes the toddler age when they are becoming more independent and want to try out everything by themselves and then it’s not long before you are waving them goodbye at the front door as they head off to their new senior school, not relying on you for much and lastly they are teenagers, when all they want to do is sleep, answer back and think that they are older than what they are.

In just under 4 weeks Oliver will be turning three years old but he acts more like a teenager.

He’s got the Kevin mannerisms spot on, minus the rudeness and abuse!

When Oliver gets told off and his shoulders sink towards the floor, arms fling from side to side, his bottom lip pokes out further than his feet, he lowers his head and shouts ‘That’s not fair!’

It’s quite funny to watch but obviously I don’t show him hilariously silly he looks as he may start to think that it’s ok to act this way. He can stay sulking for ages, swinging his arms around, walking up and down, stamping his feet and mumbling away to himself. Most of the time he will act like this if he doesn’t get his own way, which can happen quite a few times a day, but others times it happens when he is told off or when his brothers don’t let him join in with what they are doing.

Another thing is that Oliver loves his sleep, he will lay in his bed all morning if he was left to his own devices. It’s highly impossible to wake him in the morning without him pulling up his covers over his head, telling me to leave him alone as its still dark.

20140626-211322.jpg

 

I can pull the covers away from him and all he will do is get up, grab it from me, lay back down on the mattress and pull it back up over him. It can take him a good 10 minutes to wake up properly and if i try to take him from his bed when he isn’t fully awake he will sill just strop all morning, refusing to eat his breakfast and fight with me when i am trying to get him washed and dressed.

Oliver knows what he wants to wear as well! He will turn his head away from clothes that he doesn’t want to wear only co-operating with me if i dress him in the clothes that he chooses, even down to his underpants! We don’t bother if it doesn’t match especially at 7:45 in the morning when i have to be leaving the house in 15 minutes time to get to work. Oliver likes his sleep that much that he still has an afternoon nap of around 1-2 hours, if he doesn’t get his rest then he can be really crabby and rather impossible to cope with.

20140626-212652.jpg

 

Oliver won’t go to sleep early neither, his brothers have a set bedtime at 8pm (sometimes later if they have after school clubs or are on school holidays) but Oliver thinks that he can just go to sleep when ever he wants to, mostly when i attire.

I am hoping when Oliver turns 3 he would have passed the teens stage and turned into a lovely little boy who never strops, never argues back and doesn’t mind spending the day away sleeping, Who am i kidding????

Thank you for reading my post 🙂

Share