A Week of Sporting Achievements for the Boy

I bring to you a very proud parent post..

The week started off pretty dire for my son. He had spent the weekend not feeling very well and ended up in bed, missing school on Monday due to throwing up the night before.

He was due to race in the Year 7 Essex Cross Country Championships on the Wednesday; something he been looking forward to doing for a long time. He had spent the last couple of months training hard for it and really wanted to enter. Racing and running has been something that he has got into through his Dad and older brother – both compete at competitive levels.

By Tuesday he was back in school and back at training. The training session was really just to test if his fitness was ok to compete in the race, he seemed to be ok and didn’t complain of feeling ill.

Wednesday came and his Dad picked him up from school at midday to take him off to the cross-country race. He was the only boy who had been entered into the race from his school so it was up to us, his parents, to get him to the event.

He was excited but nervous. He really wanted to do well in this race. Back in November he raced for his school in the borough championships and didn’t do as well as he as expected. In my eyes he done brilliantly, but to him he knew he could have raced a quicker time.

When you look forward to something for so long, the nerves take over, especially when you want to do well.

He lined up on the start line, the only child from his school, ready to move at the sound of the start gun.

Doesn’t he look small at that start line?

Growing up watching and supporting his elder brother competing in races for the borough and County just made him very determined to want to do the same. He had looked forward to following his footsteps and couldn’t wait until he was in Senior school so that he was able to do so.

He ran a superb race, crossing the finish line in 6th place  and securing a place to represent the County in the Inter-Counties Cross Country next month.

Safe to say I had a very happy boy. His persistence paid off and he never gave up. He had his sights on something and grabbed at it with all that he had to give.

On Friday he came home from school sporting a new badge on his blazer. He had called me on his way back and I was a little worried as i had missed his call and he wasn’t answering my returned calls. He came straight over to me saying

“Do you notice anything different?”

Of course I did. I noticed it straight away.

A new badge on his lapel. An Achievement Award Badge rewarded from Jack Petchey Foundation.

There was more. He reached into his bag and pulled out a framed certificate and a letter

He had been awarded Outstanding Achiever after being nominated by another child in his year group at school.

I cried.

Sending your child to a school where they had no friends from their junior school and always wondering if they have made friends or if they have fitted in, is a big worry. So, to read how he was nominated by another child for his running achievements in school but also because he is always engaged and focused in all school activities and school work. His peer also said that he is always willing to help others. This makes me well with such pride.

Just look at his little face in the picture above and see how proud of himself he is!

He has also been rewarded £250 to spend in his school, he needs to choose a department to spend it in. Which, he already knows. Without a doubt it is going to be the P.E department as he wants the school to supply children in athletics a vest to wear instead of wearing their PE shirt.

And if that wasn’t enough of his achievements for the week he topped it all off today by competing for a place in the boroughs team to compete in the London Giving Mini Marathon and securing a place.

My only wish for my boys is to have the very best life, to play hard but equally work as hard to achieve the imaginable. My boys are the greatest thing that ever happened to me, there is nothing more than seeing them smile and hear them laugh. I am super proud of all of them and the young men that they are becoming.

I am one very proud parent

 

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15 Signs You Know You Have a Teenager When…

The change is almost over night; one day you have an adoring young child who would do anything for you to make you happy and the next BAM! You’re faced with a moody, angry teen who slouches around the house and argues back at you when you ask them to do a chore.

Now, I am quite lucky that most of these signs I only had when my son went into secondary school and, to be fair, they didn’t last for long (maybe a year or so). I think it took me falling ill for him to shake his butt and get a grip with his emotions and feelings. Some of the signs are still happening and, well, I could be talking about the significant lazy other half too! (but that’s another blog post lol)

We all have our own experiences with our teens – some good, some bad. Here are some that I have experienced with my sons:

  • They no longer feel the cold and go out without wearing a coat in the Winter. Wearing a coat is to uncool!
  • Teenagers know everything! There is no need to use the internet anymore, just ask your teen. Oh, and they have an answer to everything too (that’s if you can hear them talking through their mumbling)
  • There is no need for a cloak cupboard anymore, teens will leave their coat and bags at the front door as soon as they enter. They say it’s easier for them to grab the next day
  • They have a better social life than you. As soon as they turn 13 they will be attending anyone and everyone’s party.
  • They live in their bedrooms. You will never see them unless there is food on the table and it’s time to eat
  • They begin to mumble in a low voice when they are talking to you. You will never make out what they are saying
  • You will never get to use your own charger anymore as it will be claimed by them to charge their tablets or phones
  • They want every item of clothing to be designer and are no longer happy with Primark or high street clothing
  • Their friends are allowed to do EVERYTHING that are not allowed to do and you will constantly hear about a friend who can do what they want
  • If they DO pick up their dirty dishes and cutlery and take it to the kitchen, it will not make it into the sink but instead it will be left next to the sink ready for the cleaning fairy to wash them
  • You will find dirty, stinky socks all over the house. Say goodbye to pairing them up, you will have odd socks everywhere
  • They constantly have their phone next to them, headphones plugged in. Now, I’m pretty sure that they are not even listening to anything it’s just a way for you to not talk to them
  • Sleep. They can sleep all day long. It may be because they don’t got to sleep until the early hours as they have spent most of the night on social media
  • There is never any food in the house even though you just filled up the cupboards and fridge with food. Either they have just eaten it all or they mean that there are no snacks for them to grab and eat straight away
  • Say goodbye to that expensive hair shampoo or body lotion that you save for special occasions as it will get used almost immediately. Oh, and your bathroom will have  a cloud of smoke in their from all of the deodorant that was sprayed.

Don’t worry, the teen years don’t last for long, You will soon have that loving little child who once ran from their classroom door straight into your arms because they were thrilled to see you. They no longer fit onto your lap for a cuddle and you may have to stand on a stool to hold them in your arms again but their loving and caring side soon comes back.

Do you have any signs to share?

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Mum, Are You Proud Of Me?

There is nothing more that makes me proud of any of my three children than just being themselves.

I have three boys aged from 6 to 15 and they are all individuals, exceeding in different areas with talents and interests that are not the same as each other. That’s what makes them individuals.

There are no words that can describe how much each of them mean to me, I was blessed with three amazing young boys, who, without a doubt, I know will grow into three incredible young men. Being a Mum to these boys has given me a purpose in life and has shown me a new sense of being. They are why my heart beats and why blood runs through my veins. They give me energy like no other.

I am proud of all three of them and even though I tell them how much they all make me proud, the other day my middle boy (I actually hate calling him my middle boy, because they say that it’s always the middle child that gets left out and I am always conscious of that) asked me if he made me proud of him.

These 5 words stung my eyes.

There is nothing more that makes me proud of my boys than who they are. But, obviously my son was feeling a little left out.

We had had a couple of hours together doing something that he absolutely enjoys with a passion, we had gone cycling around the country park. He loves nature and the outdoors. So we spent some time, just him and I, cycling through the park looking at tress, listening to the birds and looking out across the lake at the birds swooping down to catch the fish.

He is such a sensitive soul and the most caring boy I know, he may not be outstanding academically but he is full of knowledge.

He can tell you so much about animals and their habitats. He can talk about them for hours.

He knows all about countries, there flags and where about they are in the world.

He can read a book of 600 pages, re-telling the story with passion, remembering every part of it.

He has his own fashion style, he always likes to look smart and likes to wear quirky clothes. He enjoys being different.

He is adventurous, courageous, intuitive, sensitive and loving.

I could go on describing how perfect he is to me, but like I said there really are not enough words.

I told him all this, all of the above and more.

I told him how much he means to me and that it makes me sad that he even had to ask me if he makes me proud.

I tell him and his brothers often how proud I am of them. Even for the little things. Like offering to hold the door open for someone, carrying my bag when they can see me struggling or for their caring nature.

Being proud of them doesn’t mean that they have to achieve something that is extra-ordinary or special. It’s seeing them grow. It’s watching them achieve personal goals. It’s those small moments that are giant steps of success. I give them praise when it matters and talk about the obstacles that they have overcome.

I held my son so tight and looked him in the eye and told him just look at me, with no words. Because no words could describe how proud of him I was, only the look of love and pride in my eyes could. That’s how we stood. In the middle of a country park, faces cupped into each others hands. Staring into each others eyes. (this in itself was an achievement for my son, as he finds it hard to keep eye contact) After a few moments we let go of our contact and cuddled each other. He just smiled at me and said that he saw the love nd adoration I had for him.

I myself, saw a little boy who was struggling to find a place for himself amongst the world around him. I saw a boy who needed Love. I told him whenever he needs that whenever he is feeling sad and alone to just remember the look in my eyes

I hope now he realises that words are not needed to show how proud I am of him.

 

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Funny things children say and do – Just deflating

There are times when my boys have me in fits of giggles with the things that they say and do. I am not sure where they get it from, and even though sometimes I am horrified with what they come out with I can not help myself holding back the laughter (although, sometimes I have to refrain from it, especially when they say things beyond their years)

The other day we were all sitting around the dining table, talking about the day that we had had and eating our dinner. There was silence and we all heard, what I can only describe as a high pitch noise, a bit like a balloon that has just been let off to fly around the room. We all just stared at each other wondering where the sound came from, when my son said “Sorry, I was just deflating!” His face was so serious, that we all just burst into fits of giggles.

 

My eldest was talking about his running training and why his coach had cancelled the weekends training session. My youngest misheard completely what he was saying

“Gary is taking his wife to a football match” What the eldest said

“What’s a Call the Midwife game?” Is what the youngest thought he said

 

My mum fractured her ankle and we have just got back from spending a few days with her. She has got it in cast and is struggling using the crutches that the hospital gave to her. My eldest -who is 15- decided to spend the whole time whilst we were there, on a crutch as well. He said it was to make his Nan feel better about herself. He even put on a limp when he didn’t have the crutch with him.

But, this one tops them all. It was about 9.30 in the evening and I had just gone into the boy bedroom to give them a kiss goodnight. They were sleeping soundly, but it’s something that I always do before I go to bed. My middle boy sleeps in a high bunker, so I climbed the ladder and crawled into his bed for a quick cuddle and a kiss. He stirred a little so I softly whispered to him that it’s ok and Mummy was just kissing him goodnight. I got myself ready for bed and as I turned my bedroom light and just snuggled into my duvet, I felt someone creep into my bed beside me. My son, then said that he wasn’t feeling very well and felt very tired. I gave him a hug and said he will be ok and to go back to bed. He got up out of the bed and turned the light on. It was then that I noticed he had his school uniform on. He thought that I had woke him up for school! That’s not all of it though, before coming in to me, he had gone downstairs to the bathroom and as he passed the dining room he saw his older brother sitting at the table in there. He asked him to make him some cereal and that he would be back soon for it. He then went back up to his bedroom and got dressed and then came into me. He had only been asleep for an hour and a half, no wonder he still felt very tired lol

What have your little scallywags been up to lately?

 

 

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Travelling With Your Child Who Has a Different Surname to You

It is not uncommon for a parent to have a different surname to their child. I for one, do not share the same surname with my boys. My children’s father and I are not married so I still have my maiden name but my children’s surname is the same as their fathers. There are  millions of children living with cohabiting, unmarried parents.
This can become a problem when travelling abroad with your children and your partner is not with you.

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Two years ago I was travelling from Malta with my three boys and my mum. At the passport control I was asked what my relationship to the boys were. I told them I was their Mum and they asked why I had a different surname to them. I had to explain that I was not married to their father and that myself and my mum had been on holiday with the boys for half term and their father was at home in England. They even asked my son, who was 8 at the time, who I was to him. He answered without a thought, looking rather puzzled by the whole situation but later on he did ask me why they were asking him such questions.

I was lucky on this occasion that I was not turned away, but they do have the right to refuse entry/exit as a duty of care to protect children and to screen for child abduction.

The passport system does not recognise that children might have different surnames. The child’s passport only lists their name, date and place of birth. There is nothing on their that shows the border control who their parents are. The passports are out of date and have not kept up with the modern family.

The man at border control said that by looking at the children he could tell that they were comfortable in being with me and that next time he strongly advises me to bring along documentation to prove that they are my children and a letter from their father stating that I can take them out of the country.

The madness of it all was that I had already got them out of the country with no problems but it was getting back home that was the problem. If I was refused to exit the country then I wouldn’t have been able to bring my boys home to their father.

UK passports should make it easier for families to travel, not make it difficult. It isn’t the most important issue but it can delay the process at the border control and it can be very humiliating experience. Not only for yourselves but a knock on effect in delaying the people behind you. It’s stressful enough travelling with young children and then you have to prove that your own offsprings belong to you in front of others around you. It’s unfair that unmarried parents are being subjected to harassment and delays because they choose not have the same surname as their children. What if a parent is divorced in a unpleasant situation?

Last year I travelled to Paris with my children, again on my own and not with their Father. I took along their birth certificates –  which has my name on them, proving that I am their Mother. We travelled via Eurostar and changed at Lille. We managed to get through the border control for France without them asking any questions but taking only a few steps and we was at the UK border control where they asked for proof that the children were mine. This time I had come prepared and handed over their birth cerificates and although they were happy with the documents I was handing over they advised me to also carry a signed letter from their Dad. How this makes a difference, I don’t know! Anyone can write a letter and pretend that they are the other parent to the child. Maybe it would have to be signed in front of officials in order for it be acknowledged as parental proof.

Parents do not have to go through this embarrassment of proving their parental right if a simple piece of data was added on to the child’s passport. In order for me to apply for the children’s passports I had to send of both parents passports and details to the passport agency. So, it should be on file somewhere, and it’s no good being on file in an office in England if it can not be used at border control. I don’t want to carry the child’s birth certificates with me whilst travelling, but to save the embarrassment of being harassed at border control, I have to.

 

 

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