A Letter To My 14yr Old Son

Dear Son

When I found out that I was pregnant with you, it was quite a shock! I doubted myself and my ability to look after you. Even though I was 24, I thought that I was still to young to have children. I didn’t want to fail you as a parent and was worried that I wouldn’t be able to take on the responsibility if looking after a young baby.

As soon as I began to feel you move around inside of my tummy my love for you began to grow, you was mine – all mine.

The day you was born, my life changed.

The moment you came into this world you brought an ache into my heart that I had never experienced before, a love that was so strong it brought to tears to my eyes and a pain in my chest. You taught me the meaning of unconditional love.

You was a mummy’s boy and I was your biggest supporter. With every milestone that you reached; crawling, first steps, first word, first pee on the potty, I reveled in euphoria.

You was such a clever little boy. At 2 years old you showed an interest in cars and used to point out to me all the makes of them as they passed by. I had no idea where you had learned it from as I didn’t drive and had no understanding of them myself. I remember sitting on a bus one day; you was looking out of the window and was pointing out the cars as they passed us, saying their names and getting quite excited. The other passengers were laughing and encouraging you by asking you what the next car was. You knew them all!

You have, to this day, a presence about you that leaves people in awe. Such confidence in yourself, no matter what it is you try you will always put everything into it.

I sometimes wish that you were still that little intrigued boy. I often miss him, thinking about what you were like as a small boy. The way you used to line up your cars in colours, sizes and models. How we could never pass by a Bob the Builder ride that was outside the supermarket because you would shout to have a go on it. When you used to come in to my room at night and sneak into my side of the bed for a cuddle. And, you was always full of energy, running around I circles in the living room because you wouldn’t give in to your tiredness.

You was such a caring, thoughtful young boy – Still are!

You filled my days with such pure delight

Over the past 14 years I have watched you grow from a young boy into a young man. You are still caring and thoughtful. You have learnt so much but there is so much more for you to learn now as an adult. Life is a continuous journey and I am so glad that I am a part of yours. You have hopes and dreams and aspirations. Their will be challenges but I have confidence in you that you will overcome them, you will make mistakes, as everyone does, but remember, that is how we learn. You will have times of contentment and times of sadness, life has its ups and downs. You are a strong boy who will overcome them all.

This past year has been a tough one for us all, you have shown such maturity and your attitude towards my illness has been a positive one. If anyone could be optimistic about their mum having cancer its you! You tell everyone that my illness has taught you how to grow up, how to fend for yourself and how to be positive.

You have taught yourself to cook and to look after your siblings. Your attitude towards it all has been a positive one. Giving me support and showing me that you are much more to me than just my son. You are my friend.

You are an incredible, unique boy and I want you to know what an amazing young man you have turned out to be.

There were days when I was in hospital, when I woke, to find you sitting by my bedside holding on to my hand and stroking my head. You are such a caring boy. Full of love and compassion.

You have such a bright future ahead of you and I trust that you will accomplish anything you set out to do. You have a drive to succeed. You are your own person, have your own interests, thought and opinions and are not afraid of showing who you are to others. You are clever and very knowledgeable. I have no doubt in my mind that you will succeed.

Follow your heart, hopes and dreams and become the man whom I know you will turn out to be. Be yourself and accomplish great things.

I am who I am because of you. I love you dearly

Your forever loving Mum

 

10 things I’ve Learned Living with a Teenager

I’ve been living with a teenager for 7 months now, since my son turned 13 last September I’ve learnt a few things about living with him. I’m not saying he’s an animal or anything like that but he has changed, he has become stroppier and lazier.

Here are a few things that I have learnt so far and I am sure that there will be plenty more to come.

  1. He has suddenly grown in height ways. Yes, I know we all grow but he has shot up immensely. He always had a slow growth and I could get away with buying him clothes that were often a year group below his age. He has literally grown a whole foot in 6 months. Looking back at photos taken over the year, I can see the big change.
  2. He has begun to roll his eyes a lot and has started to make these weird grunting noises. They are kind of noises that a dog would make and he always scowls when doing them. His younger siblings think that it is hilarious and often mimic him.
  3. Wardrobes no longer exist. Clothes are strewn across the bedroom floor or laid across the bottom of the bed. When I ask him to put his clothes away, he swings his arms around grabbing the odd material as he does and pushes them onto the nearest shelf. Throwing clothes into a space in the cupboard in my eyes is not putting them away. Folding them or hanging them is.
  4. Spots. They have come from nowhere. My bathroom cabinet used to be full of Matey bubble bath and lush bombs, now it has been over taken with spot cream and facial washes. In fact it got quite bad that we had to make an appointment with the doctor to get some stronger cream. I am happy to point out though that it has cleared up lovely. His skin is now clear and glowing, but not from grease.
  5. Girls. OMG. How many girlfriends does one boy want.
  6. Let me take a selfie. He takes selfies all the time and is forever sharing them over snap chat or twitter. I’m scared to leave my phone out as the album quickly becomes filled up with selfies.
  7. Online gaming. This boy can literally sit alone in his bedroom, light out, all day playing on his playstation (if allowed that is!) When he’s not on his PS4 he has his phone stuck in his hands constantly playing games or texting friends.
  8. Bulking up. As he is now aware of girls, my son seems to think that he will get more attention from them if he has muscles. I catch him using the weights in the bedroom or using the pull up bar in the garden. After a stern talk to him he has realised that he doesn’t need muscles to be popular and is now enjoying keeping fit by running, swimming and parkour.
  9. Not too interested in family time anymore. Anywhere we go he is always 5 step behind, pretending not to be with his parents and siblings. Everything is embarrassing. It’s hard to get him to sit and watch TV with us anymore.
  10. Clothes have to be a name, high street is longer acceptable. He now wants to wear high branded clothes, clothes that cost a small fortune. Oh and he isn’t too keen on wearing a coat anymore either. Coats are for wimps, don’t you know?

I know teenagers go through a lot of changes, the process of becoming an adult. They are just as confused with their behaviour as we are.

There is a light at the end of the teenage tunnel. He has just come in to the living room and said ‘Hi’ and smiled 🙂

What will the future hold….

As I sit down at the dining table, I hear my boys from upstairs, fighting, arguing, playing, shouting and just being plain noisy little terrors. And as I am about to open my mouth and shout up the stairs for them to calm down a bit and be a little quieter. I think how quickly life goes by. I don’t want to be known by my boys as the Mummy who shouted at us a lot. I want them to be boys. In fact. I don’t want them to grow up at all.

I know most of us parents look at our little babies and wish for them to stay tiny forever. My boys are growing up too fast and I just want life to slow down So I can take in every second of their lives. My boys are my babies, no matter their age.

My eldest no longer cuddles me and the ‘I Love you Mum’ is becoming less and less.

My boys drive me mad. I am forever pulling them apart and shouting at them. My days don’t go by without me having to tell them off, there are points in my day that I sit and cry. There are days when I think I just can’t go on anymore. There are days that I just want to walk away from the fighting and tantrums. But these are normal. No ones life as a parent runs smoothly.

And as hard as It is raising three hyper boys who are forever on the go. I look at them and I just don’t want to them to grow up.

I don’t want to let go of them. I don’t want them to leave me.

Oh, I wish for them to have a happy, successful life. Get married. Have children. Be in a their dream job. I just don’t want them to forget, little old me. The Mum who took them to clubs when they were younger. The Mum who played on the floor with them for hours, in their imaginary game. The Mum who sat up all night long watching them breath when they were ill. The Mum who watched them compete and perform with tears of pride in her eyes. The Mum who taught them right from wrong, taught them how to love and who was always there for them.

It’s the well-known quote “A son is a son till he takes a wife, a daughter’s a daughter fort he rest of her life” that scares me. I myself am closer to my Mum than my Dad, although I love my Dad. It’s my Mum whom I call every day and talk to when upset.

What will the future hold?

I just pray to my boys that I will not be one of those Mother in law from hell. I will become their partners friend as much as I am theirs.

I live my days for my boys and like many other parents my weekends are planned around them. My life changed when they came, for the best. I became who I am now. I am who I am because of my boys. I’m scared of what I will become without them around.

What will the future hold? No one knows! Please Boys, Don’t forget Mummy.