A Letter To My 14yr Old Son

Dear Son

When I found out that I was pregnant with you, it was quite a shock! I doubted myself and my ability to look after you. Even though I was 24, I thought that I was still to young to have children. I didn’t want to fail you as a parent and was worried that I wouldn’t be able to take on the responsibility if looking after a young baby.

As soon as I began to feel you move around inside of my tummy my love for you began to grow, you was mine – all mine.

The day you was born, my life changed.

The moment you came into this world you brought an ache into my heart that I had never experienced before, a love that was so strong it brought to tears to my eyes and a pain in my chest. You taught me the meaning of unconditional love.

You was a mummy’s boy and I was your biggest supporter. With every milestone that you reached; crawling, first steps, first word, first pee on the potty, I reveled in euphoria.

You was such a clever little boy. At 2 years old you showed an interest in cars and used to point out to me all the makes of them as they passed by. I had no idea where you had learned it from as I didn’t drive and had no understanding of them myself. I remember sitting on a bus one day; you was looking out of the window and was pointing out the cars as they passed us, saying their names and getting quite excited. The other passengers were laughing and encouraging you by asking you what the next car was. You knew them all!

You have, to this day, a presence about you that leaves people in awe. Such confidence in yourself, no matter what it is you try you will always put everything into it.

I sometimes wish that you were still that little intrigued boy. I often miss him, thinking about what you were like as a small boy. The way you used to line up your cars in colours, sizes and models. How we could never pass by a Bob the Builder ride that was outside the supermarket because you would shout to have a go on it. When you used to come in to my room at night and sneak into my side of the bed for a cuddle. And, you was always full of energy, running around I circles in the living room because you wouldn’t give in to your tiredness.

You was such a caring, thoughtful young boy – Still are!

You filled my days with such pure delight

Over the past 14 years I have watched you grow from a young boy into a young man. You are still caring and thoughtful. You have learnt so much but there is so much more for you to learn now as an adult. Life is a continuous journey and I am so glad that I am a part of yours. You have hopes and dreams and aspirations. Their will be challenges but I have confidence in you that you will overcome them, you will make mistakes, as everyone does, but remember, that is how we learn. You will have times of contentment and times of sadness, life has its ups and downs. You are a strong boy who will overcome them all.

This past year has been a tough one for us all, you have shown such maturity and your attitude towards my illness has been a positive one. If anyone could be optimistic about their mum having cancer its you! You tell everyone that my illness has taught you how to grow up, how to fend for yourself and how to be positive.

You have taught yourself to cook and to look after your siblings. Your attitude towards it all has been a positive one. Giving me support and showing me that you are much more to me than just my son. You are my friend.

You are an incredible, unique boy and I want you to know what an amazing young man you have turned out to be.

There were days when I was in hospital, when I woke, to find you sitting by my bedside holding on to my hand and stroking my head. You are such a caring boy. Full of love and compassion.

You have such a bright future ahead of you and I trust that you will accomplish anything you set out to do. You have a drive to succeed. You are your own person, have your own interests, thought and opinions and are not afraid of showing who you are to others. You are clever and very knowledgeable. I have no doubt in my mind that you will succeed.

Follow your heart, hopes and dreams and become the man whom I know you will turn out to be. Be yourself and accomplish great things.

I am who I am because of you. I love you dearly

Your forever loving Mum

 

2017 Please Be Kind To Me

Dear 2017,

Last year was not a very good year to many people, me included. 2016 was pretty shit, to put it lightly.

Many people lost their lives through illnesses or disasters in 2016. To be honest I didn’t spend much time watching the news or reading the papers about what was going on around me as I was in my own little nightmare.

This year I would like you to be kinder to me and my family, please.

We have been through so much and deserve just a little break.

2016 saw me being diagnosed with Bowel Cancer, adeno carcinoma, an unusual cancer for a young woman of my age to get. In fact it is rare and there are only two of us diagnosed with such cancer in the hospital that I received my treatment at.

Last year I under went 5 and a half weeks of radiotherapy and taking chemotherapy tablets.

Last year I spent 8 days in hospital with an internal infection due to the radiotherapy harming my bladder and bowel.

Last year I had my tumour taken away (well what was left of it).

On top of everything that I went through in the space of 5 months, you decided that you would throw a little more at me.

After my first surgery, I had complications and just 2 weeks later I had to have an emergency operation on my small bowel.

You see 2016, I am stronger than what you think I am.

In 7 months I went through hell and back, physically and emotionally. Not only did I suffer but it effected family and friends.

So this year, 2017, I would like you to take into account on what I went through last year and take pity on an underweight Mummy who just wants to be here for her children.

I would like to laugh again. A real good belly laugh.

I would like to be fear free.

I would like to spend precious time with my boys without thinking about time.

2017, I would like to be left alone please. Let me be. Allow me to be who I want to be.

I want to have tears of happiness. I want the tears to roll down my face and onto a smile

I don’t want any more sadness or bad news. I want to be hopeful.

Dear 2017, please be kind to me.

Much Love

A very tired, but hopeful Angela

Dear Santa! A letter from a 2 year old

Dear Santa,

I have been a really good boy this year for Mummy and Daddy, I do have the odd occasion where I may just play up a little bit but they are just learning curves and I say sorry afterwards! Well I heard Mummy talking to Daddy last night whilst i was laying in my bed pretending to be asleep (Sshh! don’t tell!) about what to buy for me for Christmas and they was talking about buying me a toddler tablet, which yes I would really love to have but It’s not what I really need, so here is my list:

1. I love to play with my Mummies hair, it helps me get to sleep and I always need it to comfort me when i am upset, So please may I have A wig of her hair so I don’t have to play with my own hair

 

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2. Mummy asked me the other day what I wanted from Santa and I told her that I wanted a Motorbike, she laughed at me obviously thinking that I didn’t know what I was talking about but she’s wrong, I really do want my own Motorbike! When we was on holiday in the Summer I had to park my scuttlebug next to a Motorbike, I was SO embarrassed! It made my bike look small, so to stop any future embarrassment I think owning my own motorbike would be awesome

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3. Last year I was filmed for an advert for Cow & Gate and I got the chance to play in a recording studio, I didn’t think much of the instruments that they put out for me and the other children to play with but I absolutely loved banging my shoe onto the recording mixing desk and I would really like to play on one again. So I would like Santa to bring me one of my own so that i can mix up some tunes and have some more fun with some more of my shoes

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 4. I would like a very big hall for me to run around in as much as I want til my heart is content. When I sit with Mummy when Joseph is at Gymnastics, I get to run and play in the hall and I love it! I get to do my roly poly’s and run around the edges again and again, sometimes resulting in Mummy asking me to calm down, but how can I? The hall is huge! And I just want to run.

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5. An Ikea trolley would make a perfect substitute for a bed and I personally find them really comfortable, much to the fact that, whenever we are shopping there, I fall asleep in them. I don’t think Mummy will mind if I put it into the bedroom, would she?

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6. One last item that would really make my Christmas Day would be a bottle of milk! I love the stuff! Mummy wants me to get rid of it but there is no chance that it will happen in the near future! She tried to tell me that you, Santa wants all of my bottles and that I have to leave them for you on Christmas Eve, but i don’t believe her! Well she will have a shock when she learns that you have sent me more lol

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If I receive my gifts, Santa, I will love you forever! I promise that I will continue to be a good boy and strive to be the best that I can. I will leave you one of my half eaten chocolate bars (it will make Mummy happy as she normally finds them under the sofa) but please put the wrapper into the bin when you have finished as she will not be happy otherwise.

Love forever

Oliver

To my little monster

As I look down at my little boy
Tears of sadness fills my eyes
For tomorrow I return to work
And it will be hard to say my goodbyes

I’m going to miss :
your cuddles
The way you hold my hand
The way you look at me when your trying something new
Your excitement when your enjoying yourself
Listening to you say new words
Spending every minute of the day with you
Watching you reach your milestones

Whose going to kiss your poorlies when you hurt your self?

I’m going to miss the way you say ‘mummy’ when you want me to look at you or your little ‘cuddles mummy’ when you are upset and tired

I’m going to miss the way you pull and twist my hair around your little fingers when you are tired

I’m going to miss the way you say ‘bobble’ when you want some milk to drink or ‘num num’ when you want to eat

I’m going to miss those big blue eyes smiling at me every second of the day and your excited nature when you are playing

I’m going to miss watching you play with your brothers and learning new things everyday

I’m going to miss the way you put your arms around my neck so tightly like your clinging on for your dear little life

But don’t worry my little one as it wont be for long
As it will soon be the weekend and I will be back where I belong
Right next to you, holding and kissing you
And we will have new adventures to look forward to

As I write this I look at you with pride
My heart aches with so much love for that no words could describe
You are pure perfection to me
Everything you do makes me very happy

You are my life, my present and most of all my future

My eyes are stinging and my heart is aching, I’m feeling empty already
But my love for you is strong and no time apart will change it

So please don’t cry for me in the morning
Please don’t shout Mummy as I walk away
Please don’t be upset my darling
As your days will be filled with play

And remember my heart stays with you when I am not there

Love you little man with all my heart

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To my 21 month!

I love your little arms around my neck and how you hold me so tight

I love how you pull me in so closely and kiss me good night

I love to have your little hands within mine

I love how you make feel like I’m on cloud nine

I love how you play with my hair and twine it around your fingers

One look from you gets me in a jitters

You melt my heart and leave me breathless

Your giggles are infectious

I love to have near by and close to me

I love how you say ‘Mummy!’

I love your eyes, ears mouth and nose

I love your hands, arms, legs and toes

I love to hear you talk, saying new words everyday

I love to watch you run around and play

You are my world and me life

I Love you Oliver

A letter to Santa Claus #craft

You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout
I’m telling you why
Santa Claus is coming to town
He’s making a list
And checking it twice;
Gonna find out Who’s naughty and nice
Santa Claus is coming to town
He sees you when you’re sleeping
He knows when you’re awake
He knows if you’ve been bad or good
So be good for goodness sake!
O! You better watch out!
You better not cry
Better not pout
I’m telling you why
Santa Claus is coming to town
Santa Claus is coming to town

With only 31 sleeps till Christmas and for Santa to be shimering his way down our soot filled chimney, the boys have been thinking of their letter to Santa, of coarse they don’t need any persuasion in do this as they enjoy looking through the Argos and Smyths catalogues for some ideas on what they are hoping Santa will bring them this year.

I know they are hoping for an Xbox 360 and some new books plus the odd Lego and moshi monster product but its always fun to write a letter to the man that wears the red suit.

This year I have made special little felt envelopes for them to place their letter into, we will place them on the Christmas tree sprinkle them with special christmas magic dust so that Santa will get them in time for the 24th December and hopefully the boys have been good enough and have made it to the nice list so when they wake up on Christmas Day and they make their way down the stairs to see if their wishes have come true.

You will need :
Red Felt
Red Cotton
Pen To With
Velcro or Press Stud
Craft pieces to make a Stamp

Cut out a tall house shape on the felt.
Fold it in half but leave the triangle shape on top (finding it hard to explain, see pics below)
Stitch down the sides
Fold over the triangle and attach a press stud or Velcro to keep the flap o the envelope down
Write on the front of the envelope
Make a stamp, we used a small piece of foam and stuck on a star

You could attach some string to them and hang them as decorations from the tree.

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The boys not only have an envelope that they can use year after year but also somewhere special that their letter to Santa will be stored.

Thank you for reading