With three very active boys we are always looking for ways to keep them active but also for us all to be together. It’s not easy when you have three lots of sports clubs to get to all at the same time. We have tried football, swimming and athletics clubs and the boys even went to drama club but these type of clubs take up a lot of family time, especially when you’re a working family and just want to spend the weekends together doing fun stuff.
We found that going out running, jogging together ticks all the boxes. The boys are keeping active and letting off steam, as a family we are keeping healthy and spending quality time together.
Running is an activity that the whole family can get involved in and enjoy, no matter what your ability or age is. And what’s best is it requires very little equipment, meaning it’s not heavy on the purse/wallet.
The children partake in a 2k timed Jumior Parkrun every Sunday morning, Dad runs every evening at a club and also enters races for cross country and track and I just jog at my own pace. Since my surgery I have being trying to increase my stamina and to get my muscles working again in my abdomen.
For the past few years the family have entered into family waves in Westminster Mile. It’s just a short distance around St James Park – Starting on The Mall, going around the edge of the park and down Birdcage Walk and finally finishing on Spur Road, just in front of Buckingham Palace.
The eldest races in the Junior Athletics One Mile Road Championships, Dad races in the first wave and the younger ones and I race in the family wave.
Last year I ran along with the youngest, just 3 weeks into my chemo-radiotherapy treatment. This year I ran 6 months after having two major surgeries.
Even though the eldest and Dad compete in other races they also run along with us as family. I can’t tell you how proud i am of all of them and how warm i feel when i am running along with them close to me.
I wouldn’t class myself as a runner, not like the rest of my family (especially Dad and Jak who race at competitive levels) I just jog along at a slow pace or i get dragged along by the youngest. I still enjoy the feeling and we are all spending quality time together.
First up was Dad in the first adult wave, we cheered him on as he was the first person to cross over the finish line with an impressive time of 4.31
It was then time for the family wave. We made our way to the start line, where many other families were.
The boys sped off as soon as the gun fired and left me behind, they were eager to get a fast time. I could still see them up ahead of me.
Joseph finished first with a time of 6.50
Then came Oliver with a time of 8.10
And lastly, Mummy with a time of 9.53
After picking up our goodie bags with our medals in them, we made our way to Green Park where there were plenty of fun activities to keep us busy in the wellness vitality festival whilst we waited until the eldest ran in his race.
The youngest got his face painted at one of the stalls, he chose to be Batman
Then we found a spot on the grass where we sat down and had a little picnic.
There were many other fun child-friendly activities to try like target football, basketball, a range of demonstrations, zumba and yoga sessions.
Dad and Joseph tried the tumbleator. Which was a giant conveyor belt that they controlled the speed of, varying from 0-8m/sec Mo farah world 10,000m champion pace. Dad took on the challenge to get to 21mph on the Canning Conveyor Tumbleator, he made it look so easy! He said he wanted to carry on until he tumbled but they stopped him at 21mph. The machine is capable of in excess of 25mph
Joseph was up next, he managed to stay running at a speed of 13mph for 60 seconds. What a star!
It was soon Jak’s turn to race in the road championships. He went off to the start line and we found a spot near the finish line to cheer him on
It was his first time in the under 15s race and he done really well. Finishing with a time of 5.10, he even had enough energy to finish with a sprint.
I may not be in the same league as the rest of my family but I still enjoy to race along with them. It makes us all feel good, as well as being in each others company.
Being diagnosed with cancer was hard to deal with but what made it hard for me was that I still had to be there for my children.
No matter how much pain I was going through
or how tired I got
or how upset I felt
I was still a Mum, a person who my children depended on
I still had to smile every day for the sake of my children, even though all I felt like doing was crying. I wanted to scream but I couldn’t. I wanted to get angry but I couldn’t!
I was suffering but not in front of my boys. I cried on the inside. I tried hard to hide my feelings.
I was still the person they came to when they was upset or hurt
I was still the person who had to cook them dinner or read them their bedtime stories
Cancer didn’t take that from me. I was still a Mum
The one thing that went through my head was ‘Who is going to look after my children once I am gone?’ Who is going to wipe their tears from their eyes when they fall over and hurt themselves? Who is going to read to them at night? Who will be there for them when I can’t be?
Cancer treatment took all my energy, it left me tired and laid up in bed for days. There were days where I couldn’t move, days when all I wanted to do was curl up into a ball and forget about everything. Pull the covers up over my head and lay there in the darkness of my own thoughts. But as a parent, you know that this is impossible. Children crave attention from their parents, they want to feel needed and loved.
My boys need for their Mum helped me find the fight that I needed to get through the toughest time of my life.
When my spirit was low, listening to my children play together lifted me up
I felt lonely, but I was not alone. I had the support of my family and friends, who constantly reminded me that I was going to fight this disease and come through the other end stronger than I entered it
Cancer has made us a stronger family unit.
I vowed that I would never be a victim but a survivor.
It was hard at first but with the help of my family I held onto my hopes and dreams and gathered the strength from around me to stay positive
I may have been diagnosed with Cancer, but I will not allow it to stop me from being a Mum
Disneyland Paris is a magical place and with the right type of planning your trip to the theme park could be an even more enjoyable one. Planning is the key to make the trip run smoothly.
Disneyland Paris is an amazing place, not as big as WaltDisney World but a much more . affordable and easily accessible park to visit. With the journey time from London St Pancras being just under a few hours (quicker if using a direct train) it just makes it even more of spot to place onto your bucket list of places to visit. Disneyland Paris consists of two parks, many themed hotels and the Disney Village where there are many places to dine and enjoy yourself.
We have just arrived back from a 5 day trip to DLP, where we stayed at NewportBay Club Hotel and managed to have a day trip into Paris too. I didn’t do too much planning before going with the children and there are plenty of things that I have learned since coming back from our little break and would like to share with you all. I definitely know for next time where to head to at what time, the best places to stand during the illuminations and parade and where to eat.
1 Take along some Mickey or Minnie ears with you, these are the headbands that have the mouse ears attached to them. I checked on ebay and you can buy them for a fraction of the cost they are selling at Disneyland.
2 Ponchos come in handy for when the weather takes a little wet turn. They are light to carry and fold away when not in use. They are especially ideal for Autumn, Spring time when you don’t want to be carry around your coat
3 If you are staying in one of the many Disney Hotels then make the most of the parks magic hours, where you can enter the park before it opens. That’s 2 whole hours prior to everyone else. Not all ares are open early but you can do the meet and greets with the characters and rides in Fantasyland and Discoveryland are open.
4. Avoid the Disney parks about midday as this is the busiest time. We took this time to go back to the hotel for a swim in the pool, take a rest in the hotel room or just walk about the Disney village and have lunch
5. Download the EuroDisneyLand App prior to going. This app will tell you where to eat, how long the queues for the attractions are and what is closed. It’s a handy little map too. I found that my 4G wasn’t particularly great in some areas, so I used the app as a map to help guide us around the parks.
6. Take comfy shoes to wear. DLP is not about fashion. Your feet will ache from all of the walking around and waiting in queues.
7. Use your fastpass as soon as you can as the time slots soon fill up pretty quickly on busy days. We used ours for the most popular rides, like Hollywood Terror Towers, Ratatouille, Buzz light year and Thunder Mountain. When you use your fastpass for a ride check the bottom of the ticket as it will give you a time when you can use it again
8. Head on over to the studios and take a seat at one of the many shows to watch. The Moteurs show is one not to be missed. A spectacular action stunt show set amongst a full scale mediterranean village. Watch the hero red car speed away from the bad guys using some nail biting stunts, there is even a fiery finale
9. Be prepared to queue for up to an hour on most rides. We saw queues with a waiting time of up to 130 minutes.
10. Although DLP does not allow picnics to be had inside the parks you can take in snacks. They come in handy when waiting in the long queues especially with the little ones
11. Book your meals before you arrive as the restaurants quickly become full especially Chez Remy, which is situated in The Studios. You can book over the phone up to a month before your trip starts or book with the concierge in your hotel on the day of your arrival
We ate in Agrabah, Cafe Mickey, Sequoia Lodge, Cape Cod and Earl of Sandwich
A mediterranean feal at The Agrabah cafe
12. Meet and Greets are available in the mornings from 8am in the Disney Hotel foyers
13. Pushchairs are available to hire out in the parks
14. If your child is not tall enough for a ride but you want to give it a go the most rides do a Rider switch where you all queue up at the same time and take it in turns to ride the attraction without queueing again. Just tell the member of staff when you begin to queue that is what you want to do.
15. Certain attractions offer a Single Rider option where you can join a special queue if you don’t mind filling up a spare space on the attraction and not ride along with friends or family. This queue is normally not as busy as the main queue
16. Turn up for the parade and illuminations about half hour before they begin. You will find that most people begin to find a spot about an hour before. We watched the parade at the bottom of the main street. I would advice to look out for where the sun is especially if you want to take some snaps as you dont’ want the sunshine to ruin your photos in the back drop. The illuminations start when the park closes, everyone tries to get just in front of the castle but we found that we had a great view from the entrance to fantasyland
17. Take along a spare charge lead and a portable charger. If you are only using your phone as a camera then the battery will quickly go and you dont want to miss out on any photo opportunity
18. For quieter rides head on over to the back of Fantasyland where you will find Les Pays des Contes De Fees a gentle boat ride amongst Disney Storybook land and Casey Jr – Le Petit Train Du Cirque, a train ride above miniature land. We only queued for about 10 minutes for these rides.
19. For the magic to really come alive you must visit the dragon that lives in the caves under the castle
Explore the many winding caves and see the waterfall or walk over the rickety walk way in Adventure isle in Frontier Land. From the eerie gloom of Skull Rock to the stunning landscape of Spyglass Hill, there are secrets and stories to uncover at every turn. At Adventure Isle keep a watchful eye on what’s ahead as danger lurks beneath crisscrossing suspension bridges, beside narrow pathways and within spooky caves.
20. If you’re arriving at the le marnee de valley train station there will be shuttle busses taking you to your hotel just outside of the station. each stop is sign posted with the hotel that the shuttle stops at and they run about every 20 minutes
21. Don’t miss out on the many photo opportunities you get not only with the meet and greets but also with the many statues that are around both parks. Playland in The Studios is a fabulous place for the young ones
My boys also enjoyed attempting to pull the sword from the stone, it obviously was never going to budge as they are not King Arthur
22. Disneyland doesn’t have to be all princess and Mickey mouse. My boys particularly enjoyed spending time in the Studio Park as they got to meet Storm troopers as they paraded around the park looking for any rebels to pick out from the crowds. At certain times of the day you get to watch the First Order March and the A Galaxy Far, Far Away show
23. Take along some fancy dress for your children to wear whilst they explore the parks, you never know you just might be picked out from the queue and taken to the front on a ride
24. There are many water fountains around the park so take along a water bottle for you to fill up. Drinks can be very expensive, about £3.50 per drink and £2.80 for a coffee.
25. The quieter times to attend the attraction and rides are between 8-10 in the morning, while the parade is on and after 7 at night. The park closes at 10 just as the fireworks and illuminations start.
26. And last of all relax and enjoy the experience. Enjoy your evenings in one of the many restaurants in Disney Village or have a drink and watch the buffallo Bill show.
My youngest is about 107cm tall and he managed to go on most of the rides apart from a few, unlike a few of the theme parks that we have visited in England where he got very frustrated and upset as he wasn’t tall enough to go on them. This just made our family experience a while lot better as we all went on the rides together. It was just India Jones, Rc Racer and Rock n Roller coaster. Space mountain and Pirates of the Caribbean wasn’t open.
Rides I would reccomend are: Crush Coaster, ratatouille, Buzz light year, Autopia, Star tours, Thunder mountain, Terror towers and Rock n Roller coaster
Thank you for reading, I hope this post has been helpful
A day where children shower there Mummy’s with Love, presents, cards and time
A day where Mums from all over get to have a day off and spend it with their Children.
A day when children tell their Mums how much they love them and how much they are thankful for them being their mummy
I didn’t receive a shop bought card, or any flowers or a gift for that matter. But what I did get was far more rewarding and priceless. A day with my boys.
I don’t need a card to tell me how much they love me
I don’t need flowers or gifts to know that they love me
I receive kisses and cuddles every day from them, so this day was no exception
Instead we walked along hand in hand on a beach.
We talked and laughed at each others jokes
We ate chips on the sea front whilst the sun shone down on us
We watched the waves hit the shore
We enjoyed each others company
I sat and watched my boys play together, kick a football around and play fight with each other
I should be thanking them for making me the person I am today
I wouldn’t be a Mum without them. Without them I wouldn’t be me!
I am thankful on Mothers Day, as of the rest of the days of the year in being their Mum
My day couldn’t have been any better. I wasn’t upset that I didn’t receive gifts, as I’ve got my boys instead. They showered me with cuddles and kisses. They gave me laughter and fun and most of all they gave me memories of a lovely day together.
I celebrate every day the love I have for them and I know that they love me just as much as I do them.
I only have to hold them to feel their loving touch. Look into their eyes to see the love.
I am thankful for being their Mum every day that I breathe and nothing can take that away from me
This post is an entry for the #vickstricks campaign
The cold and flu season is well and truly on us. It’s that time of year when the snuffles, aches and pains begin to surface. Not that there is any particular time to catch a cold as it seems my children can come down with the symptoms of a cold any time of the year.
Being a family of five, when one comes down with the sniffles, we all do. It can go round the family faster than Usain Bolt running 100ms. Working in a school myself, I can be sneezed in the face up to 10 times in one day. I understand the importance of keeping our immune systems strong in order to fight any nasty germs that may want to enter our bodies. That is why we make sure that we eat our five a day to keep our immune systems healthy and we always drink lots of water. I have to be extra careful not to catch any nasty bugs going around due to the Cancer treatment that I have received. Radiotherapy can damage many of your organs and cause many problems like lowering your immune system. I make sure that we take multivitamins and cook with fresh ingredients, adding in garlic and turmeric which help with fighting bad bacteria
When our children are feeling poorly, as parents we try every trick in the book to keep them entertained and make them feel better, especially when they need to be back in school so that they don’t miss out on too much class work.
Britmums have set a VicksTricks challenge, they want to know what I do to entertain my children when they are ill and make them feel better, as well as wanting to hear what my parents did to soothe me when I was young and not feeling too good.
I was sent a parcel to help me with this challenge. Inside was a story book, a selection of fun finger puppets and a bottle of first defense.
At first sign of sniffles grab the first defense and tissues
finger puppets for quiet play and a book to read
Firstly as a family we try our best to stop a cold from developing. As soon as I hear a sniffle or a sneeze we do the following
Drink as much water as possible. Warm water is best and always place a slice of lemon into it to flavour it up but it also helps strengthen the immune system. Keeping yourself hydrated will help the congestion and keep the nasal passageways clear
Take a tsp of warm honey in the morning. This helps with sore throats and reduces the coughing
Up the intake of fresh fruit especially apples, bananas and oranges. Did you know that one apple has an antioxidant effect equivalent to 1500mg vitamin C. Bananas are a good food source for fatigue and help keeps our bones strong. A good way of getting all this goodness into the children is by a smoothie. Blend it all up and drink away. I also find that if the child helps make the smoothie they will be more inclined to drink it especially if it’s a funny colour. This helps support the immune system.
Mug cakes are ideal to make with the children. We make one made from bananas, peanut butter, cacao and honey. Not only do they taste good but they keep the children entertained without stimulating them too much, the least sugar the better. They are nice and warm and healthy too.
Place some Vicks Vaporub on the underneath of their pillows and rub a little onto their backs. This helps them breathe a little better, which is always worse at night when they become congested up from laying on their backs and helps them drift into a good nights sleep. It has one of those smells that you remember from your child hood and it is a staple product that is always in our bathroom cabinet
For us adults, at the first sign of a sniffle or sore throat we drink our special home remedy of garlic, ginger, lemon and honey in hot water. Sounds horrible, tastes not as bad as it sounds but works well.
Also plenty of rest helps our bodies fight the infection. We always bring the bedding down to the sofa, turn the tv on and watch a good feel good movie.
Lots of love and affection. There is nothing more than a cuddle from your parent when you feel under the weather. Research shows that a kiss and cuddle from a parent can releases oxytocin and endorphins, which are ‘feel good’ neurochemicals. I am 38 yrs old and still to this day yearn for a hug from my Mum, it makes me feel warm and loved.
Time together. When snuggled under the blanket, with a hot water bottle and vicks vaporub rubbed onto the back we lay down and read a book. We often fall asleep before we finish it but sleep plays a good part of the healing process. Children do not need anything that will over stimulate them when they are feeling unwell. Company of a loved one is enough. Colouring is always very good too as it relaxes the children and takes their minds off of the sniffles and sneezes
I remember when I was a child, my Mum used to give us a glass of warm milk before bedtime whilst she read us a story. The one thing i will never forget is the time she spent with my siblings and I when we was ill, she would keep us busy when our strength was back with making crafts or baking cakes.
Vicks believes that traditional love, fun and laughter are the key to comfort your children when they aren’t feeling themselves. That’s why Vicks have developed a series of sharable #VicksTricks magic videos that are simple, easy and great fun to replicate at home! Laughter is good for the soul, just as Katherine Mills explains in this magic video. watch what she does with a banana
Vicks consumer research looks at the most common home remedies with British parents. Here are the findings:
• Over half (52%) of parents said that rest was the most important thing for making children feel better
• This was followed by ‘medicine’, which 40% of parents rely on
• More than a third of parents (36%) believe in the power of TLC
And when it comes to keeping children entertained:
• Three out of four (75%) British parents put on the TV or a DVD
• Over a quarter (27%) read to their children
• 1 in 10 parents get really creative; either telling jokes (8%) or even do magic tricks (2%)
Family Psychologist Corinne Sweet highlights that “one of the most powerful antidotes to sickness developing further, is parental care and concern.”
Corinne advises that “listening to a story or watching a film is a good idea, as it is soothing and promotes laughter (an immune booster). But don’t let them play video games, watch scary films or spend hours on screens. This will keep their minds over-stimulated, when their immune systems need gentler stimulation and rest.”
Laughter and Love is the best medicine needed to gain strength to fight bad bacteria oh with a little help from Vicks Vaporub too 😉
This post is the entry for the #vickstricks campaign. Photos and words are my own.
I am not calling it a bucket list, as I do not want to tick things off of a list prior to kicking the bucket. This is a list of things that I hope to achieve during the year of 2017. Last year I was diagnosed with an illness that has me realise that you need to live for the day. Do what you want and don’t let others stop you from enjoying life.
There are many things that I have not done in the past due to being worried what I would look like or what would others think. I may sound like a cat having a fight when i sing but this year I plan on letting other shear my beautiful voice and not give a damn on what they think or say behind my back
This year I plan on being a year for firsts. I plan on enjoying myself and gaining more confidence daily.
Top of my list is to Kick Cancers Ass! I will keep fighting for as long as i breathe for the sake of my boys. It’s important to keep my immune system strong and to live a healthy lifestyle. That’s where taking up jogging and entering races comes into it. I want to think about my fitness as well as eating well.
The holidays abroad and to the UK are already booked. We have a holiday to Malta, that we stay in my brothers apartment and the holiday in the UK is to a Haven site that we like to go to. It’s down on the south coast, near to Hastings, called Combe Haven. The children love this site and the location is beautiful.
I am not very good when it comes to entering the sea. It’s the fish swimming around my body and touching me that freaks me out. The thought of even putting a toe in the sea where there is fish swimming makes me cringe. I just don’t like the feel of it. So I would like to overcome my fear and swim with my boys this summer in the sea and try to forget that there are little slimy critters that will swim by. I also would like to join in on the boys fun and jump into the sea from the rocks in Malta. My boys love doing this and Malta has many beautiful places that offer people the chance to do so.
I have no confidence what so ever when it comes to driving the car, so I aim to spend more time behind the wheel and less time on my feet and riding public transport.
By camping I mean in a tent and not glamping that we did last year. Even if it means putting a tent up in the garden and sleeping under the stars there, then that is what we will do. We can light a fire out there and toast some nice big marshmallows for our evening treat.
I enjoy cycling and love my bicycle. It’s a folding bike so handy for me to get on the tube into London. I’ve never entered a cycling race before and it’s something that I have thought a lot of since the summer. I don’t think I could manage a long distance race but I do rather fancy a the London to southend one. Although that is quite far.
This year will hopefully see us move home to a bigger house. We have sold and bought a new home bit just awaiting all the paperwork to got through. I am looking forward to keeping it minimal and uncluttered, unlike our home is now. If all runs smoothly we shall have 4 bedrooms, a bedroom each for the boys and a bigger garden. We have so many plans for the new home, including building a conservatory, a porch and removing the current garage and replacing it with a new brick building for the boys to have as a playroom.
What will this year bring you?
So you have a ‘to do list’?
Thank you for reading. Pop a comment below and say hi 🙂
School mornings can be the most stressful part of the day. Children, especially the younger ones do not understand the concept of time and If anything like my youngest boy, they will deliberately go slow once told to be quick.
I am no expert in parenting nor am I saying I know more than any other parent, But I am hoping that my tips can help someone who is struggling with the morning routine running smoothly. Having three children and one of them being a stubborn morning person, I have been the Mum that screams the house down in the morning. I have been the parent that has sat on the bottom step of the stairs, head in hands and cried. I have been stressed to the max when the youngest just wouldn’t budge and just moved like a sloth to the front door without wearing his coat or shoes. We had months of where we left late every morning for school and I felt like the White Rabbit in Alice in Wonderland, looking at my watch every 2 seconds, screaming out that we’re late, we’re late! School morning routines can be stressful but they don’t have to be if you just try to organise your time and prepare.
It’s all about preparing the night before. If you can get as much as possible all set up the night before then there won’t be as much as a rush in the morning.
If your child has pack lunch for school, most of it can be prepared the night before. I put in packets, juices, fruits and bars into their boxes and leave the yoghurt and any fresh food for the morning. It’s best to out the lunch box together before the children wake up, then you won’t be listening to the moans of them not wanting what you put in. I like to make the sandwiches fresh in the morning but to save time you can make them the night before and store them in the fridge.
Wake up at least 45 minute before anyone else in the household. This way you get to relax before the tornado hits. Grab a cuppa and a biscuit and chill for 5 minutes. I also like to get dressed before they wake up. Fewer people fighting over the bathroom.
Place all bags and coats near to the front door. Easy to grab before you leave the house and also means that nothing gets left behind. Line up their school shoes next to the front door too.
Keep all winter clothes, like scarves and gloves inside he sleeve of the children’s coats. That way there will be no searching for them in the morning.
Make sure the children’s book bags are looked through as soon as they come home from school. All homework taken out and placed on the table to do straight away. All letters read and signed to be placed back into the book bags ready to be handed in the next day
Fold up your child’s school uniform, along with underwear and socks ready for the next day, in a pile. I leave ours in the living room, so after they have had their breakfast and had a quick wash they can get dressed in front of me downstairs, then I know there will be no distractions for them in their bedroom.
A bath/shower is better, for time wise, to have the night before. Just freshen up in the morning with a strip wash from the sink.
I always put the toothpaste on their toothbrushes as soon as I can. Once I am dressed and ready I prepare their toothbrushes and leave them on the side of the sink. That way I know there won’t be snail trails of bright blue gunk all over the white bathroom suite and I always know if they have brushed their teeth. Children have a tendency to lie about brushing their teeth. I touch the brush head to see if it is wet too. It saves time too as It takes me seconds but leave it to the children and they can be in there for hours
NO TV. do not have the television on whilst the children are around. They will sit and stare at adverts about incontinence and women’s period rather than get dressed and ready for school. It’s like auto pilot, there not taking anything in of what there watching they just watch for the sake of it.
Hide all tablets, laptops, console remotes and phones the night before, then there will be no distractions in the morning when a child wants to play on a game or watch something on YouTube.
Make a note of anything special happening in school on your phone diary or family organiser. I have a calendar up in the kitchen where everyone can see it. On I mark down school trips, class assembly’s, teacher meetings, parents evenings, PE and swimming days and any other special events. I always check the night before and I set the alarm on my phone for a second reminder.
As soon as the children have woken up and are downstairs they choose their breakfast and sit at the table to eat it. They then have a wash and get dressed. We sometime have a little game on who can get dressed first (makes them go faster), they love a little competition.
Make up a ‘I Can DO’ chart I had one that had ‘made my bed’ ‘brushed my teeth’ ‘got dressed’ and ‘ate breakfast’ The child can put a star next to the chore that they have finished. You can reward them with a sticker, children love stickers!
The last tip is to always keep your front door keys and phone in your handbag, coat pocket or on the window sill near to the front door. You don’t want to get the children all organised for you to go hunting through the house, just as you are about to exit through the front door. This I have done many times before as I was too occupied in getting the children ready, I have even shut the door without my keys in my pocket. Check, Check, Check! That is my last advice.
Let me know if there is anything that you do for an easy, smooth running morning that I do differently. I am always up for new ideas to help