Letting go! Is this TOO much independence?

The boy is going to Amsterdam Without Mummy!

A few months ago, Jak attended an audition for a part in the English National Opera ‘Death In Venice’ , on the same day he received a call back, which meant he had to go back into the theatre for another audition. He walked away from the audition excited and very happy, we was told that if he had been selected we would be hearing from them the following week. After a week, i received the email ‘Congratulations! Jak has been picked to appear in the production’, we had a little scream together and after Jak could catch his breath and come back down to earth we read the email together properly.

Jak will be appearing in a number of productions at the Coliseum in London but he will also be flying out to Amsterdam for 6 days to guest in the Music Theatre over there and appear in 3 productions there.

There was a lot of rehearsals involved, we counted 17 in total and 1 dress rehearsal which will be performed infront of an audience.

I sat down with Jak and we went through the dates and discussed a few things;

“Are you happy to be doing this Jak?”

“Will you be able to catch up with your school work?”

“How will you feel about acting in a big theatre?”

“How will you feel about being away from Mum and Dad?”

“How do you feel about being in an Opera? Do you know much about what happens in an Opera?”

After much thought he decided that he wanted to take part, so we accepted the role and got to work with gathering together the paperwork that would be needed to get the licence set up.

As i mentioned before Jak will be travelling to Amsterdam, The Netherlands, 330 miles away from home to perform in a theatre there but the big thing is, it will be without Mummy or Daddy! He will be chaperoned the whole time by the same chaperones that are currently with him throughout every rehearsal and every performance in London.

How do i feel about this:

Excited for him to be a part of such an amazing experience

Anxious, uneasy, nervous that he will so far away from me and i won’t be able to tuck him at night, ask him how his day has been, unable to comfort him if he is upset or sick

I feel sick at the thought of not having him in the same country as me, i’m hyperventilating, this is epic!

Worried that he may come into danger whilst away, apprehensive at the fear of possible harm that may come to him

I feel that i may be sending my baby away but may be receiving a young man back

Happy to know that he will be enjoying himself doing something that he chose to do

I know that as he is 10 nearly 11 that he will have to have some of his own independence soon, he will have to make his own choices either bad or good and that he has to learn about life but that doesn’t stop me from being so worried about the whole situation does it?

Have i made the wrong decision? Should i not allow him to go away for the sake of my own feelings? Or should i have faith in how grown up and mature that he is?

He will be missing his 4 days away with school to Ringsfield in Norfolk because he will be performing in London mid week (which he chose to do) so it kind of makes up with going to Amsterdam. He will be still be receiving schooling when he is in Amsterdam, in fact he will be getting 3 hours a day which is quite a lot considering there is only 7 children.

He will be visiting a new city and exploring it, learning about the culture and seeing new things, like the canals and the galleries

He will have an experience of a lifetime that not many children get the opportunity to do

He gets to perform in a different country

It’s giving him freedom and allowing him to grow

It’s teaching him how to be responsible and giving him new experiences

Am i such a bad mum for not going along with him?

 

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