Something has happened to Oliver and I am not sure how to deal with it!
For the past few weeks he has become a screamer! A screeching screamer!
He has learnt that when he can not get what he wants or if his brothers are annoying him he can just release this high pitch, glass breaking scream, loud enough to cover your ears just to get what he wants and unfortunately it is working! I have no idea what to do when he does it! I have never come across the situation before with the other two. I know how to deal with tantrums as I have handled my fair few of them but dealing with a toddler who screams so loud it hurts my ears, I have come to a stand still.
I have tried:
- Ignoring him – this just makes him scream even louder
- Mimicking him – this just makes him scream even louder as he think it is just a game
- Removing him from the area – this just makes him scream even louder
- Giving into him – which I really do not want to do
- Occupying him with something else – It works for a while until he remembers that he was screaming prior to the new activity so he just screams even louder
- Cuddling him and giving him attention – This doesn’t really work
- Getting down to his level looking him in the eye and saying ‘NO’ clearly and calmly – staying calm whilst he is screaming isn’t easy although it does work until he remembers that he was screaming so he carries on
Things that trigger off his screaming episodes
- His big brothers especially Joseph, who i know is teasing him as i can hear him when i am in another room
- When he doesn’t get his own way
- Travelling on the tube/train and bus
- When he’s tired
Oliver knows that it is wrong and he knows that if he carries on screaming Mummy will eventually give in to his demands especially on a busy commuter train full of tired just out of the office workers on their way home from a stressful day at work, he knows how loud it is as he even puts his fingers in his own ears when he is screaming and then says ‘Ouch!’ After he has screamed the roof down and he knows that it annoys people.
I often get that look from other people, you know the look! the one where they clearly believe that i am a bad Mum for allowing him to scream and I am not dealing with his outbursts in the right way, People often ‘Tut tut’ really loudly or kiss their teeth or even nod their head in disaprovement! It’s not as if i have taught him to scream and it’s not as if I am allowing him to carry on, I AM trying!
Oliver doesn’t speak much although he does have the odd vocabulary and it is getting much better but i do think that maybe he is screaming not only for the attention but as a way of getting across to us that he isn’t happy, in pain, upset or clearly that he just wants to be left alone.
I am hoping that it is just a phase and that once he begins to put sentences together and his vocabulary expands he will forget about the screaming!
If anyone has any advice they could share with me on how to deal with screaming, i would be very grateful!
One very tired, run down, had enough of screaming mummy signing off!