Today has been a very trying day for me, my baby is teething and is really suffering. I really feel for him and all the pain he is going through but i’ve just about had enough of the crying and moaning, there seems to be nothing i can do to help him and believe me i have tried everything. He is moaning and moaning and im cuddling him and soothing him but all i want to do is go into another room and close the door to it all (i will not do this do not worry) . I used to be a really chilled out relaxed person before i had children and all of a sudden i get stressed too quickly, i cry alot and just feel like screaming, i really have had enough. Some days i feel like i cant cope and that i am doing a rubbish job of being a mummy, everything seems to loud and echoing and i feel like i am not here, Am i not the one who is meant to soothe my children and help them instead i feel like i am causing his pain, if only i could stop him from crying!
This feeling doesn’t last long but its long enough for me to cry uncontrollably, yes i do have 3 children and yes it is hard bringing them up and i do want the best for them but i look at other mummies and they are doing a much better job than me, why cant i be more like them?
I do not have much time for myself, i am surrounded by my children 24/7 which i love but sometimes i would like just 5 minutes peace on my own, without having to be mummy and just to be Angela and to be honest i no longer know who Angela is anymore! I’m just the woman who wakes up, looks after the children, takes them to clubs, does the cleaning, pays the bills and does the cooking. Sometimes i feel unappreciated and feel so needed. I feel that if i have some minutes to myself and that i am being selfish and taking time away from my children (i blog from my phone, whilst holding baby, cooking, even walking down the street)
My children give me so much and i want to give just as much back to them, i want them to remember a happy childhood not one of a tearful, stressy mummy. is it normal to feel like this?
I have finally got some peace and got baby to sleep and its 10:30pm, i wonder how long this will last!