Damn, I’ve forgotten why I came in here! Chemo Brain

For the past couple of years,I have had problems with short term memory loss and finding it hard to concentrate. It has been particularly bad since I had treatment for Cancer.

Have you ever heard of chemo brain? Very similar to baby brain. It is a common term that is used by cancer survivors to describe thinking and memory problems. It’s not clear what causes the signs and symptoms of memory loss in cancer survivors, it could be the stress of the diagnosis or the effect of the chemicals in the treatment.

I was told that the side effects from the treatment would take up to 6 months to get out the bodies system, although it doesn’t seem to be the case with me.

I would like to think that I am not losing my memory and that I am just letting go of my past. But, it’s short term that I am struggling with. Those simple tasks that we take for granted.

I find myself walking into a room and forgetting what I went in there for. I can stand there for a while trying to remember what It is that I am meant to be doing, but it doesn’t help.

I find that words don’t flow from my mouth anymore and I get struck for the choice of words I am looking for. I get tongue-tied, I know what I want to say but it doesn’t come.

I write myself notes and set the calendar on my phone to remind myself of what I am doing. But it is mostly those moments where you decide to do something at that moment; those on the spur moments, that I forget. Like going upstairs to grab a top but coming back downstairs with nothing as I couldn’t remember what it was that I wanted. Or, whilst cooking the dinner, I may look in the cupboard for an ingredient and forget what it is I am looking for.

I sometimes find myself confused and feeling of mental fogginess. I used to love to read a book but I find it hard to concentrate on the words, they seem to be covered in a fog within my head and I forget what I have read.

Those moments do come back to me, But I have to trace back to the moment I thought of something for it to come back.

Last year, I started a college course and I am normally organised with work loads. But, I have been finding it hard to learn the new skills. I forget what I am writing half way through the sentence. The course is taking longer to get through but I am managing it, essays are taking double the time and I have to re-read every sentence a few time for it to make sense.

Maybe I am just getting old, maybe it has nothing to do with the treatment. I think I would like to think the latter.

 

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