Tft! Tft! Tft! Tft! Pop! Pop! Pop!
The noise is deafening. I crouch down, shielding myself behind the wooden log wall. I can hear people shouting out orders but I can’t see them! Green smoke is all around, I cough as it hits the back of my throat. My mask is filling up and I am struggling to breath, the goggles are getting steamed up and I am struggling to see what is in front of me. The smell is strong. I can hear footsteps nearby, rustling of the leaves, they are getting closer. I am ankle-deep in thick mud, my hands are shaking, my heart is beating faster and faster, they are getting close. I go to make a run for it, I slip in the mud Tft! Tft! Ouch! something has hit me! I look to my arm, Nothing. No sign. Tft! Pop! Again. This time something has hit my head, lucky I have my helmet on. I roll on the floor, rolling in mud, rolling to cover. Too late! Not only am I covered in mud but I now have a green slime all over my leg. I’ve been hit!
Saturday was my future sister in-laws Hen do and she had arranged a half day for us all at Extreme Paintballing.
We all met in the car park and was taken to a big shed to sign our lives over and get kitted out with some overalls and a padded ambush hood. It was a mild day but I heard that when you get hit it stings so I had layered myself up with my clothing. Even though I had 4 layers of tops on and 2 pairs of trousers, the overalls that was given to me were HUGE. The crotch came down to my knee!
We was all given a lift down to the main arena field in a trailer led by a 4×4.
We was taken to a waiting area where we was served tea and coffee whilst we waited for the first half of the days paintballers to finish their game. Our games were to start at 12:30 as we was only booked in for half a day (I’m not sure we could have managed a full day!) As the first half of the day people exited the battle area, we looked on, wondering who we would be up against. After a quick bite to eat we was ready to battle.
We was given our safety talk on how to use the gun, given our helmets, belts, coloured arm band, paint pellets and ammo hopper. There were extras that we could have bought like smoke grenades and baseball grenades but we decided on waiting to see what it was like out there first before we bought any.
Goggles on. We was taken through to the gun area, we attached our hopper that was filled with the pellets to the gun and off we was led to our part of the battle field. The aim of the game was for us to protect our coloured flag. We didn’t stand a chance! We was talking to the Marshall so we didn’t hear the count down. We was told to run so I did, I took shelter behind a tree. Someone was shooting at me so I shot back. I had no idea if my pellets were going in the right direction but i was shooting towards the other team. As i peered from behind the tree, a pellet hit my gun. I was out! Actually our whole team were out! Heads hanging in shame was led back to the waiting area to de-gun and wait for the next game.
We had 5 games in total and lost all bar the last one as we got help from the marshalls
It was a fun day, with lots of laughter, giggles, chat and bonding. I rolled in mud, ran through water, crouched down behind barriers, got scratched by brambles, fell face first into thick oozy mud and got shot lots.
It was the first time that I had fallen over, not under the influence of drink on a Hen do.